


Cougar Xing

by LadyRa



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Time, M/M, Paranormal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2012-08-04
Packaged: 2017-11-11 10:45:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 33,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyRa/pseuds/LadyRa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elijah is either going crazy or the cougar at the zoo is talking to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cougar Xing

**Author's Note:**

> NOTES/WARNINGS: RPS sorta, but only because I'm casting Sean/Elijah in the story, so I'm calling it a RPC: real people casting. I think it will be a thing. This has nothing to do with who they really are. There is teasing about bestiality, but it's only teasing.
> 
> THANKS: To Lbilover, who I blame entirely for this new obsession. I read her story Woodjin and was hooked. Go read it now. Plus she got a sneak peak and helped me out with a couple of snafus! And thanks to all my lovely betas; for this story that includes: Morr and Annie

Cougar Xing

 

It all started at the zoo. No, it had been the newspaper article mentioning that the local zoo was under new management and, for some bizarre reason, they were redoing the zoo using an Egyptian theme. Elijah remembered being perplexed, wondering why redo the theme? Wouldn't it be better to use that money, however much it was costing, to build better enclosures?

The last time he'd gone to this particular zoo was as a child on a school field trip, and even that young he'd been unimpressed. The impetus to create large natural environments for the captive animals had passed this zoo by, and most of the animals had still been in concrete and steel cages.

So, definitely the newspaper's fault, he decided, as he stared at all the tools laid out before him like some sort of metal buffet. He didn't even know what most if not all of these were called, let alone know which one to choose. He recognized a screwdriver, a hammer, and wrenches. That was about it. How would he even ask for the right tool? 'I need one that will cut through the thick metal wire holding an animal captive at the zoo. Any ideas?' Yeah, that would go over well.

He was definitely bonkers for even thinking this. He should probably be seeing a psychiatrist as opposed to this particular Home Depot's version of Bob Villa. Animals couldn't talk. At least not like humans, and definitely not inside a human's head. He was losing it big time. Part of him was amused by the thought, yet another part of him wasn't. There was a small frightened piece of him that was afraid he really was going nuts. That he'd lost the fine balance of inventing fantasy stories in his head without losing himself in them.

That might have been enough to get him to turn around and leave this entire stupid, insane, ridiculous idea behind, except he couldn't erase the image of the cougar out of his mind. Its hopeful eyes that seemed to stare right into Elijah's soul. Yes, definitely bonkers.

He blew out a long breath and then glanced at his watch. The zoo didn't close for another two hours; he had time to go back and see if it happened again. Just because it had already happened twice didn't mean anything. Third time was the charm, or in this case, the charm-breaker. Besides, that way he could actually measure the wire and come up with some sort of cover story to explain the need for something strong enough to cut through it.

*****

The first time had been five days ago.

Elijah had read the newspaper article and, on a whim, decided to go to the zoo. He'd just finished writing his last book, so his editor and publisher were happy for the moment. It wouldn't last long before they'd be after him for the next book in his trilogy, quadrilogy, or whatever you call a series that keeps getting longer the more you write.

So he'd enjoy this respite and take a trip to the zoo.

Sadly, it was as awful as he'd remembered. He moved from enclosure to enclosure, watching the animals pace their way around the small cages. He winced as he realized they actually were painting murals on the backs of some of the cages. Sweet Jesus. It made him want to go find the owners and slap them around. Maybe he should. Really, weren't there laws about this? Was it legal to keep animals in these awful cages?

Elijah stopped outside a cougar cage. He'd give them some props because someone had made an attempt and put a climbing tree in the cage. Otherwise it had hard dirt with a small wooden hut, and was completely enclosed with wire and wood. Didn't these animals have territories that ran into the hundreds of miles? Elijah could only imagine that something essential died in these animals every day they were locked away in cages like this.

There was a shaded bench in front of the cage so Elijah sat down, glad to be out of the sun. He looked for the alleged cougar in the cage in front of him, but could only see a long tail sticking out of the small wooden enclosure against the wire at the back of the cage. The front roof of the hut had been painted a royal blue, with the shapes of pyramids to the right. The tail switched again as if annoyed with the updates to its quarters.

"I don't blame you," Elijah commiserated.

The tail stopped mid-switch.

Elijah watched, mesmerized, waiting for what came next. Surely it hadn't stopped because of his voice. None of the animals here seemed to care less that they were being gawked at regularly. There was some scrabbling and the tail vanished inside the small wooden structure replaced by a large feline cat poking its nose out.

"Hello," Elijah said, charmed for some reason. Its eyes were golden, and it seemed to be staring right at Elijah. "Sorry if I bothered you."

The mountain lion slowly came out of its hiding place and stalked toward Elijah. Despite the fact that there was a sturdy wire cage keeping the lion in and Elijah out, he still felt a prickle of fear as the lion continued in his direction. Like I'm its prey, Elijah thought, a shiver racing down his spine.

"Don't be afraid."

Elijah turned his head to see who had spoken, but there was no one around. When he turned back to the cage, the lion was pressed against the bars, staring right at him with unblinking golden eyes.

 

"Whoa," Elijah said, standing. Intellectually, he knew he was safe, but there was no doubt the lion was staring intently at him, probably thinking he'd be much more tasty that whatever crap this zoo fed him.

"Don't go."

Was it a practical joke? Elijah searched for a speaker, a camera, something that could end up with someone heading his way, laughing at how Elijah thought maybe the large cat was talking to him. Because he wasn't, despite how that in-love-with-fantasy voice of his, the muse, the one who helped Elijah write best sellers, was delightedly screaming, "He's talking to me! He's talking to me!!"

"Let me out." The tone was definitely male and the words were English, but it didn't seem like a human was talking to him. The voice sounded a little too growly for that.

"Please."

For a crazy moment, Elijah actually considered it. Could see himself opening the cage door and letting out a wild cat who outweighed him and could definitely outrun him. The fear of that, of actually maybe doing it, made Elijah spin around and walk away.

 

By the time he got home, he was shaking his head and chuckling. "Boy, you are losing it, Wood. Big time." Although it would be a cool idea for a book. If his chuckle was a bit manic, he did his best to ignore it. It was just his fevered imagination; it wouldn't be the first time he'd made something up out of nothing. His chuckles died down and he pulled into his driveway, shut off the car and sat in the car.

"All right," he said, blowing out a breath. "Okay, that was a little creepy." His imagination had never done something to inch Elijah toward a life-time prescription for antipsychotics. Yes, he'd used his imagination to escape from an unhappy childhood, but he'd always known the difference between fact and fiction.

It was just still so clear. That male voice with a burr, like a purr. He smirked at his inadvertent poem. A burr that tickled Elijah's insides. Maybe the cougar really had talked to him. And maybe the cougar had put a whammy on him to open the door; like a trick to make its food come to him. "And that way," Elijah said definitively, putting a stop to his thoughts, "lays madness."

He just needed to distract himself. He glanced up to admire his relatively new home. His second book had been a best seller, and the advance for his third had been large enough for Elijah to buy his first actual real home. He hadn't gone huge; it was just him after all, and he hadn't wanted to be one of those people who got in way over their head with bills, only for everything to crash and burn.

But it was his, and he loved it. The style was called a bungalow, but it was too big in Elijah's mind to be called that. It had a perfectly steeped roof, two of them actually, as there'd been an addition to the back and the newer roof stood taller than the original roof line. It had fancy wooden beams demarcating where the deck started, and lots of windows that flooded the house with light. Whoever had landscaped the yard had stuck with trees and shrubs, so it was all green, matching the sage green paint of the house. Elijah kept thinking he needed to plant flowers, but he'd never had much of a green thumb, and he'd rather have healthy greens in front of his house than dead flowers.

 

He parked on the street, the lack of a garage being the one drawback to his home, but he didn't mind too much. He stopped at the front door as he thought of the lion back at the zoo in that small wooden shack within a slightly larger cage and felt a pang of sympathy for the thing. That had to suck. Did the cougar remember what being out in nature felt like? Where had he come from? Was he a zoo baby so he didn't know any better? Had he been captured, forced into captivity? Had he been wounded?

There must have been some information about the cat, some descriptive information affixed to the cage, but he'd been too busy going insane or being pranked to pay attention.

He put the key in the lock and opened the door. Home. He wasn't someone who got lonely, finding safety in solitude, but when nothing but the silence of the interior greeted him, he wondered if he should get a cat.

*****

The second time had been three days later. The cougar had stayed with him. A lot. Nonstop, if Elijah were going to be honest. Enough so he'd started a new book about him, hoping to purge it from his mind by putting the idea on paper.

It didn't. Elijah ran his hands through his hair, leaving it even wilder than it was. When he was in writing mode, he stayed in his pajamas, and his hair never saw a comb. His hair was always a bit wild unless he cut it short, but he hated it short. Too many years of forced haircuts left him with a bit of a phobia about barbers, and he never got it cut until he started to look homeless.

His excuse, as he headed for the shower to get dressed to go back to the stupid zoo, was that he needed more details for his book. Maybe he should take his camera and shoot some pictures, really emphasize the shoddiness of His Majesty's abode. In his new story, the cougar was an ensorcelled king.

Naturally, there would have to be a queen character as well. One day, perhaps, Elijah would be bold enough to write gay fiction and let his king find the prince of his dreams, but for right now he was mainstream all the way, letting any homoerotic tendencies of his characters stay firmly in his head and not on paper.

He let plot ideas percolate all the way to the zoo, paid his fare, and walked right to the cougar cage. All that was showing again was the cougar's tail. Elijah read the small placard affixed with wire to the cougar's cage.

The cougar (Puma concolor), also known as puma, mountain lion, mountain cat, catamount or panther. This large, solitary cat has the greatest range of any large wild terrestrial mammal in the Western Hemisphere extending from Yukon in Canada to the southern Andes of South America. An adaptable, generalist species, the cougar is found in every major American habitat type. It is the second heaviest cat in the Western Hemisphere, after the jaguar. (Cougar Wiki)

"Cool," Elijah said.

The cat was out of his wooden abode and at the wire so fast Elijah took two steps back as the animal seemed to lunge at him.

"You're back."

"Yeah, see?" Elijah said in dismay. "I was really hoping this wasn't going to happen. I have to say I have a real problem with this." He glanced around and saw a janitor giving him the look. Elijah got out his phone and put it to his ear. "I don't have time to go crazy." He stood facing to his right, pretending not to pay attention to the large feline staring at him.

The cat chuffed at him. "You're not crazy."

"Right. That's because I'm going crazy. Emphasis on the going." Elijah took another step back, because holy freaking Christ, he was talking to a cougar. Except that he really couldn't be because that was a whole world of wrongness. Were you supposed to recognize the fact that you were going crazy? Elijah thought the whole issue with going crazy was that you actually thought you were normal while the rest of the world was nuts. But he knew, right now, standing right here, that he'd lost it.

"Please. Let me out."

Elijah huffed out a laugh. "If I do that, then this little crazy episode I have going on here becomes other people's problem to deal with, and then I end up behind locked doors in a straitjacket."

As though pushed inside his mind, Elijah saw/felt/smelled images of a sun-drenched landscape, of rock and trees, of paws finding easy purchase climbing rocks, the quiet paths through the trees and scrubs, the large stones that filled the landscapes eerily beautiful with bands of striated colors, taking on shapes that in the twilight took on those of fantastical creatures. It made Elijah's heart race and filled him with an inexplicable inchoate longing that gripped at his heart. What the hell?

Or maybe that's what the cat was feeling. Right. Of course it was. "Listen," Elijah said. He turned to the cat and saw that it had its paws against the cage wire, his face level with Elijah's. "Jesus, your paws are huge!" He was tempted to put his hand up against one of the paws, just to compare. He didn't, but Elijah did notice, though, that this particular cougar was indisputably male.

"I need to get out."

"And go where, exactly?" Elijah asked, wondering what his psychotically creative mind would come up with. Elijah had a pretty fertile imagination and, so far, the cat seemed to have a fairly limited vocabulary.

"Home."

"Which is…?" Elijah prompted.

The cougar shook his head as if geography was a bit outside his comfort zone.

"Need a map?"

The cat narrowed its eyes at Elijah as if aware he was being mocked, and Elijah found himself grinning for some reason. That was such a human expression. And Elijah had totally been mocking him, because what else do you do with a mountain lion who's a little weak on his compass skills?

"You're just like me."

"What?" Elijah said, thrown. "What?"

"I wouldn't be able to speak with you if you weren't like me."

Elijah squinted at the cougar, letting his face screw up in confusion. "What do you mean I'm like you? What, like telepathic cats from outer space?"

The cougar let out a series of chuffs in response that sounded so much like a quiet spate of laughter that it elicited a snort from Elijah in response. The cougar chuffed again and suddenly Elijah was laughing so hard he was stumbling, trying to keep his balance, a hand out in entreaty as if asking for mercy. "Okay, okay, Jesus, stop it." He let out another riff of laughter and then blew out a long loud breath. "Oh, man, I haven't laughed like that for, well, I don't know how long." He weakly sat on the bench, feeling safer a few feet away from the cat as opposed to only inches from those golden eyes and disconcertingly long fangs.

The cat was sitting on its haunches now, very still, and very intently gazing at Elijah.

Elijah put his phone back to his ear and said, "I think I would know if I was a telepathic cat from outer space. What I really think is that I've lost my marbles."

"You do know. Haven't you always been different?"

The cougar couldn't know that this topic was a button pusher that actually made Elijah almost certain this was all some sort of psychotic break. He stood, fighting back a surge of anger, his childhood memories filled with images of being different and paying for it in too many ways to count. Being shunted from foster home to foster home with occasional breaks to juvenile detention homes. Now, in his adult life as an author, for the first time ever, being different was paying off, but he hated, hated, being called different, hated it then and hated it now. "Not this different," he bit out. "Never this different."

All his impotent rage as a child too small to stick up for himself, too pretty for his own good, too trusting, always too trusting, and always paying a price, threatened to burst out of him, like one of those gross things in Alien. For the second time, Elijah spun around and headed for the exit, but this time he ran.

"Come back!" he heard in his mind, frantic, terrified, pleading. "Come back!" Then he heard the sound of a large two hundred pound cat throwing himself at his wire cage, over and over again, until Elijah was far enough away that he couldn't hear any of it any more.

*****

And here Elijah was, the next day, at Home Depot. Thinking about going back. Why? He was stuck, resolutely, like an absolute number, moving in all mental directions, but relative to zero and finding no answers. Was he crazy? Was the cat really talking to him? If he was, why? What did he mean he was like the cat? And that brought him back to crazy. But he couldn't, just could not, forget the maelstrom of horrified emotions that the cat projected into his mind, when he realized Elijah was leaving and might not be coming back.

Why would Elijah's mind make that shit up? Unless the cat and this psychosis was all because of Elijah's fucked up childhood, in which case those emotions made perfect sense. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

By the end of the day, Elijah realized he had to go back. If he was crazy, he'd see it out, and if he wasn't, well, that was another whole kettle of fish. Should he buy bolt cutters and take them with him? His eyes ran over the immense numbers of bright red and yellow tools. This whole thing, the handy man thing, was completely foreign territory for him. Art was more his thing. Writing. Drawing when the mood struck.

He patted a large, dangerous looking thing that looked like it could cut through Fort Knox, but left it behind.

*****

"Hey," Elijah said, rattling the cage.

Nothing.

Elijah frowned. "I came back. See?" He spread his arms for his absent audience.

Nothing.

"Man, can you hold a grudge." He stared at the small house, trying to see in the gloom if there was a pissed off mountain lion inside.

"He's not in there anymore," a voice from behind him said.

Elijah turned and saw one of the zoo workers, a pert young woman, with blond hair tied in a ponytail, and wearing a nondescript tan uniform of slacks and a short-sleeved shirt, with the zoo logo on the breast pocket.

Elijah's heart thumped ominously in his chest. "What do you mean?"

"He went a little crazy the other day," she said in a whisper, after first looking around as if to make sure no one would overhear her juicy gossip.

Guilt swamped Elijah. "Jesus," he said. "What happened? Where is he?"

"He's in the veterinarian building on tranquilizers."

Elijah felt sick to his stomach. "What are they going to do to him?"

"I don't know," she said. "They might have to put him down. It would be bad for business to have a lion eat a customer." She grinned at that.

Elijah attempted a grin in return, needing more assistance from her. "Can I see him? Are visitors allowed in?" He gave her his most wide-eyed puppy look, knowing it had felled harder prey than she.

"If you sign up for a tour," she said. "But they're done for the day."

"Oh," Elijah said, biting his bottom lip, wondering what the hell he should do now. He pouted a little in her direction.

She rolled her eyes, but gave in. "Okay, I guess I can take you in."

"Great!" Elijah said, acting as if this would be fun, ignoring the nausea and remorse roiling through him. Then again, he reminded himself, just because either a. the cat is talking to you, or b. you're going crazy, it doesn't mean the cat won't eat you.

"I'm Sheri," she said.

"E-Evan," he told her. Best not to use his real name if he was indeed going to attempt a prison break.

"What do you do?"

"Ah, I, um," He thought furiously. What did people do? "I'm an accountant!" He let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh," she said, as if she hadn't known accountants actually existed. "Huh." Then she grinned at him. "Guess you're good with numbers, then."

"Yup," Elijah said with a decisive nod. "Very good." He waggled his eyebrows at her. "So, the tour?"

She considered him for a moment, and Elijah did his best to look not like someone crazy. He decided a best defense was a good offence, and said, "So, are you studying to be veterinarian?"

As if switching the topic to something about her was the key, she began moving forward again. "Eventually, at least I hope so. I'm still working on my bachelor's degree in zoology."

On any other day, Elijah would take this woman to lunch and pick her brains, but right now, he was on a mission. "Wow," he said. "Do you want to work at a zoo as a vet?"

"No," she said, wrinkling her nose, "I want to work with people's pets, you know, cats, dogs, that sort of thing." She veered off the main path and led them down a heavily packed dirt trail. "We'll go in the back."

"That's cool," Elijah said. "How do you learn about all the different sorts of animals? I mean, people must bring birds, and turtles, and lizards, all sorts of stuff to a local vet. Are there special classes on lizard care?"

She laughed. "I have no idea. I’m just trying to get through my science prerequisites." She stopped at a door clearly in the back of the building, and punched a code into the keypad to open it. Elijah tried very hard not to be too obvious watching her.

"Four-three-two-one," he said silently to himself several times. Not that it was hard to remember, but he didn't want to forget.

"Obviously on the real tour you go in the front door," Sheri said. "They show you all the sick animals they're taking care of, and how they organize the care and feeding of all the animals in the zoo. It's pretty neat. You should come back and take the whole thing."

"I will," Elijah lied, then he had to ask, "How come the cages are still so small? I thought zoos were all about big natural environments."

She grimaced. "I know. They really are, aren't they? But some new company just bought the zoo, and I've heard rumors that they're really going to spruce the place up." She leaned in. "Between you and me, this isn't a very good zoo."

Yeah, Elijah thought to himself, and the Egyptian murals weren't going to make it any better.

They wandered down a few corridors, Elijah doing his best to remember where they were going, short of throwing bread crumbs or Reese's Pieces on the floor.

"This is where the sick ones are kept," Sheri said as she used the 4-3-2-1 code again. She pushed the door open, and Elijah blinked. It was a huge room, but it seemed largely empty. There was a large central counter area with small cages on it making an inner square. One cage held some sort of rodent half buried in shredded newspaper. Along the walls, there were metal counters with several sinks, cupboards above and below, all closed. A small peeping noise got Elijah's attention and he found a standing bird cage, covered, that no doubt held some sort of winged patient.

Around the back and left wall were larger cages, and the cougar was in the one in the corner, lying prone, facing away from Elijah. This cage had heavy bars, like old-fashioned prison bars, and Elijah didn't think any of the bolt cutters he'd been looking at would do the job. He'd probably need a blow torch and that wasn't happening; he'd probably burn his fingers off and there would go his career. There was a hand written sign in large letters on a white piece of paper taped to a bar. "Caution, keep away."

"There he is," Sheri said unnecessarily.

"Is he still drugged?" Elijah asked.

The cat answered his question by wearily lifting his head and blinking at Elijah, as if his sight was blurry.

"Hey," Elijah said.

"Look at that," Sheri said with a grin. "It's like he knows you. They said he went nuts before, throwing himself against his cage, trying to get out. Spooky."

"He doesn't look so spooky now," Elijah pointed out.

"Wonder what set him off?"

Me, Elijah answered to himself. Just little old me.

The cougar tried to stand, but his legs weren't cooperating, and he ended up first on his knee joints and then back on his side. His eyes hadn't left Elijah, though.

Elijah, having no idea if he'd be understood, put a hand out in a 'wait, wait' motion.

Sheri looked around the room as if seeing it from a visitor's perspective. "I guess there's not much to see," she said apologetically.

"No, this is great. Thanks."

She shrugged, "Like I said, you should take the real tour. But I should probably get going. I need to go clock out."

"Okay," Elijah said.

The cat growled.

Elijah glared at him, and made the 'wait' motion again. He was surprised, and partly relieved, that the cat wasn't in his head anymore. Maybe he couldn't do it when he'd been sedated. Or maybe Elijah's psychotic break was tapering off.

The cat hissed a little, but then settled down.

They went out the same way they came in and, once outside, she quickly left, leaving him standing by the door, not a suspicious bone in her body, which worked out perfectly for him. Should he go right back in? Feeling like a superspy, he looked for cameras, recognizing that he had no idea what he was looking for unless they looked like your typical closed circuit camera thingy. "Some writer you are," he muttered. He should know this stuff. He saw the convex-y mirrors at the corner of the building and thought they might be cameras. Whatever. What the fuck was he doing? Did zoos even have cameras like that? Cameras were expensive, right?

"Are you still there?" came an unsteady voice in his mind, like an old man's. "Don't leave again. Don't leave me here."

Elijah dropped his head, cursing.

"I’m losing myself. I can't…please."

Deciding there was no fucking time like the present, Elijah pushed the 4-3-2-1 and slid inside the building. If someone found him, he'd just say he'd gotten lost. Or maybe he'd tell a variant of the truth and say he'd heard they were going to put the cat to sleep, and to confess that he was the one who'd riled him up.

He went left, then left again, then right and, gratefully, found himself at the door Sheri had taken him to. Another 4-3-2-1 and he slipped inside.

The cougar made this pathetic sort of mewl-y sound, and it went straight to Elijah's heart. "You get how much trouble I could be in if I get caught?" he snapped, trying to get his equilibrium back.

"They're planning to euthanize me."

That stopped Elijah in his tracks. "Right, okay, you win. Your life is more pitiful than mine right now."

He got a narrow-eyed stare for that quip.

"And you also get that I'm still not completely buying this, right? And a part of me expects that you'll lunge for my throat as soon as I figure out how to get you out." Elijah stalked to the cage, and wrapped his fingers around the bars. "And how the hell am I supposed to get through these?"

"The door's not locked."

"What?"

"I'd do it myself but I don't have opposable thumbs right now."

Elijah found himself wiggling his thumbs.

"Open the door!"

"Jesus, you're pushy." Elijah felt all sorts of stupid for not noticing there was just a piece of wire keeping the door shut. He worked it free, letting it fall to the floor, hoping whoever was in charge would think it had gotten loose on its own, and swung the door open. "You're not going to eat me, are you?" He was half tempted to get into the cage and swing it shut until the cat ate the rodent and at least took the edge off his appetite.

The cat chuffed twice, and Elijah found himself grinning again. "Now what?"

"You suck at this," the cat said.

"Hey!"

The cougar moved to the door. "Open this one."

"I'm thinking we should have waited until dark."

"I might be dead by then."

Elijah sighed thinking it was hard to argue with that. "Fine." He opened the door and peeked out, but the cougar wasn't waiting, he shot by Elijah's body and loped down the hallway. "How do you know where to go?" Elijah whispered loudly.

"I'm following your smell."

Elijah was glad he'd taken a shower this morning.

The cougar turned a corner and was out of sight.

Making sure the door was locked behind him, Elijah took off after the large cat. He was waiting at the back door, and Elijah pushed it open. This time the cougar carefully sussed out the landscape. "Where's your car?"

"What?"

"You say that a lot."

"I have a right to, considering."

"Where is it?"

"In the parking lot."

The cat looked up at him. "Drive it to the back of the lot. I'll meet you there." He took off at a fairly steady pace, only the slight occasional tilt showing any lingering side effects of whatever sedative they'd given him.

Elijah stared in disbelief as the cat moved out of sight. "What the hell?" He let out a frustrated breath, ran fingers through his hair, thought about visiting the rest of the zoo just as proof that he was the one in charge of his life, then decided he really didn't want to be on the premises when they found out the cat was gone. On a whim, he took his jacket off and rubbed the doorknob on both sides clear of prints. Then he realized he had an excuse for prints, because Sheri had brought him this way. Elijah's heart was racing and he'd broken out into a sweat. He clearly didn't have the constitution for a criminal lifestyle.

On that note, he jogged to the parking lot, keeping one eye out for a tan hide in the bushes. He drove his car slowly around the back until he spotted the cat. Putting the car in park, his side to the bushes, he considered that he was about to put a potential man-eating beast in the back seat of his car. He could still just drive away. He turned his head to stare out the window again and found the cat right there, right freaking there, staring through the window at him.

Either he had slipped, over the last few days, into the most life-like hallucination ever, or it was time to start believing that there might just be something very not normal about this cougar. He opened the door slowly, giving the cat time to back away, and then opened his back door. "Go ahead."

With a lithe leap, that didn't look quite as graceful as the cat intended, as one foot hit the door causing half of him to roll to the floor of the back seat, the cat was in. His ears were pinned down as he looked at Elijah, as if daring him to laugh.

"Considering you were drugged," Elijah said kindly, "I'll let that slide." He shut the door after the lion was tucked in, all bunched up, looking, at a quick glance, like a rolled up brown blanket. "Where am I taking you, Your Highness?"

The blanket unrolled, and the cat glared at him. "Where are we?"

"Southern California."

The cat let out his own version of a frustrated sigh, and let his head drift down to his paws. "I don't know. I'm tired."

"Right." Elijah got back in the front seat. First things first. Get out of the zoo. With that thought in mind, Elijah headed for the exit, grateful no one manned the little booth. Then he was out and away, driving down the road with a mountain lion in his back seat.

*****

In the end there was only one place to take him, and Elijah cursed his lack of a garage as he pulled up in front of his home. Fortunately, it was still the middle of the afternoon, and most of his neighbors were at their jobs or off watching their children play little league. There were a couple of nosy elderly people who looked after the neighborhood, but there wasn't anything Elijah could do about that.

"Are you awake?"

"Yes. Where are we?"

"My house."

The cat sat up, a curious expression on his face. "Nice."

"Thanks," Elijah said, thinking this was the weirdest conversation he'd ever had with another species. "I like it. Think you can slink in without any nosy neighbors seeing you?"

The cat glanced around, as if doing his own check for nosy neighbors. "Do you have a back door?"

"Yeah."

"Go and open it."

"Bossy."

"Please."

Grinning, feeling giddy at the thought of his life at the moment: he was in one of his books! He got out of the car, walked around to the passenger side, and opened the door leaving it wide enough for the cat to get out. Then he strode toward his house, going through the front but moving straight to the back door to prop it open with a doorstop.

He walked back out of the house and to the car, grabbing something non-essential from the back just to look like he was carrying something, and then shut it and locked the car. By the time he was back in, he could see the cat lying on his couch, looking very comfortable.

"You better not shed on that."

The cougar yawned very loudly, showing off its teeth.

"I've got the opposable thumbs, remember," Elijah reminded him. He went to shut the back door, locked it, and then checked that he'd locked the front door. He had a good friend who tended to walk right in, and that would not be a good idea right now.

Elijah sat down in his rocking chair. "What do we do if they find out I let you out?"

"They won't."

"You sound very sure."

"They didn't chip me or band me. They didn't get me legally so they can't say a word. If any official agency gets called in, they'll close down that zoo."

"You sound like you're feeling better." The cat was talking in much more complex sentences.

"I am." Suddenly the cat bounded off the sofa and approached Elijah.

"Are you about to tear out my throat?"

"Would you stop with that?" the cat said irascibly. Then he was licking Elijah. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I would have died in there."

Giggling because his tongue tickled, Elijah pushed the cat away. "You're welcome, stop licking me." But the cat didn't, and then he was rubbing his head all over Elijah's face and under his chin, as if he was marking him. "You're lucky I'm not allergic to cats."

"Thank you," the cat said again and then retired back to the couch. "I need to sleep for a while." And then, seemingly, just that fast, the cat's eyes drooped, slitted shut, and he was asleep, lightly snoring.

*****

Elijah had only moved long enough to get his lap-top and a beer, but then he was back in the rocking chair, watching the cougar sleep. He had a cougar sleeping on his couch. He only wrote about ten words; most of his focus was on the couch, mesmerized by the sight.

Someone jiggled the front doorknob, and he silently wished them away. Then he heard a key in the lock and remembered he'd given Billy a key. Fuck. His mind raced furiously trying to avert the oncoming disaster.

Billy burst through the door. "Why'd you lock it?" he demanded, walking into the living room.

"Uh…" was all Elijah got out.

Billy stared at the couch. "You've got a lion sleeping on your couch. Didya know that?"

"Mountain lion," Elijah corrected. "So you can see him?"

"Yup. Big as life." Keeping one eye on the sleeping cat, Billy turned to him. "Why do you have a lion, excuse me, mountain lion, sleeping on your couch?"

"Long story. Too long, really. It's not really a good time. Can you come back later?"

"He might eat you. There's stories about tame lions eating people all the time."

Elijah sighed. "I don't think he's going to eat me. He got a little peeved at how I kept bringing up the subject."

That got a look. "Hurt his little feelings, did you?"

"Can I explain later?"

The cat woke up and growled at Billy.

"Stop that," Elijah snapped. "He's my best friend."

He showed off his large teeth again with another yawn. "I’m thirsty."

"Go drink out of the toilet," Elijah suggested.

"No, thank you."

"What do you want?" Elijah got up.

"Water."

"Is a bowl okay, or do I need to find a golden goblet for you?"

"What are you doing?" Billy asked. "Why are you talking to it like that? Like you're having a conversation? Is this a prank?"

Elijah snorted. "I told you, it's a long story." He got out a large mixing bowl and filled it with cold water from the tap before putting it down on the floor. "There."

The lion happily started lapping at it.

"All I can tell you," Elijah said to Billy, "is that for some reason, this lion can talk to me in my head. He told me to break him out of the zoo, so I did. And here we are. And I know I sound like I'm off my rocker, no pun intended, because I just got off my rocker, but I’m not. At least I don't think I am."

"You're totally off your rocker. You stole this lion from the zoo?" Billy's voice was very high by the end of that sentence. "I don't even know what to say."

"Whisper something to the cat."

"What?"

"Whisper something to the cat, and then he'll tell me what you said, and then maybe you'll believe me."

"I'm not getting close enough to that thing to whisper in his ear," Billy objected.

"Tell him I won't eat him."

"He says he won't eat you."

"Imagine how comforted I am by that," Billy said. "We need to call someone. Animal control or, I don't know, the zoo."

"Can't do that," Elijah said. "I just broke him out."

"Why?"

"He asked me to."

"No, I mean why did he ask you to?" Billy inquired, with a tone that suggested he was being preternaturally patient.

"Oh, good question. I never asked."

Billy slapped a hand over his face. "You never asked?"

"Well, he said he was losing himself."

Billy barked out a laugh. "Losing himself?"

"They were really awful cages," Elijah pointed out. "You know I write about this sort of fantastical stuff happening to ordinary people all the time. Why shouldn't it happen to me?"

"You do get why this is all completely fucked, right?"

"Yeah," Elijah said wearily. "Just whisper something in his ear. I promise he won't bite you."

Billy approached the lion very slowly. The cat ignored him, still lapping water.

"I'll go wait way over there, so there's no way I can overhear you," Elijah suggested, putting action to words.

His friend got to within two feet of the lion, and said something very softly to the cat.

The cat chuffed and said to Elijah, "Ask him: You and what army?"

Game, Elijah said to Billy, "You and what army? Did that make sense?"

Billy sat down suddenly on the floor.

The lion head-butted him, but then went back to his water.

"What did you say to him?" Elijah asked.

"That if he bit either of us, that I'd rip his head off," Billy answered.

Elijah grinned. "Awesome, right? He's telepathic or something."

"How is this happening?" Billy asked. "I mean, seriously? How is this happening? And just because he's telepathic, doesn't mean he won't get hungry. And how come only you can hear him? Ask him to talk in my head."

"He's not one of our kind," the lion told Elijah. "I’m hungry. Do you have any raw meat in there?" His nose was pointing at the refrigerator. He licked his chops.

"I hope I don't look like a trussed up turkey," Elijah said. To Billy, he added, "He keeps saying he can only talk to ones like him, and he says I’m one like him." He grinned, "A telepathic cat from outer space."

Billy's jaw dropped. "What? You're from outer space?" he asked the cat.

The chuffing started up again, which got Elijah sniggering. "No, I made the outer space stuff up myself. And I already explained to him that I'm reasonably certain I’m not a telepathic cat."

"No, you didn't," the cat said. "You got mad and left me behind." He growled a little and paced closer to the refrigerator.

"Yeah, I did. Sorry about that," Elijah said.

The cat butted up against his thigh. "No, I'm sorry. I made you mad. I didn't mean to."

Shrugging, over it, Elijah pulled open the refrigerator. "How about some hamburger?"

"Okay."

The cat didn't sound too excited. "I know you're slumming, Your Majesty, but I'm all out of tenderloin."

"You're a riot. Don't quit your day job."

"He's pretty funny for a lion," Elijah commented.

Billy was still sitting on the floor looking stupefied. "How is this happening?"

"Don't ask me?" Elijah said. "I've been thinking I was going crazy all week." He unwrapped the hamburger and put the entire pound of it on a plate. "I hope you like it. I was going to make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner."

The lion gave him a look at that, licked his chops, considered the hamburger, as if deciding if he'd rather have it raw or have it Italian. Then, he splayed out on the floor and started wolfing down the hamburger.

"Charming," Elijah said.

The cat ignored him.

"You might not want to drink out of the toilet, but you better know how to use it."

The cat continued to ignore him.

Elijah left him to his carnage and went over to help Billy off the floor. "You okay?"

"Telepathic cats from outer space?" Billy asked in answer.

"I started a book already."

"Good. It'll be another bestseller." Billy took his arm and pushed him out of the room. "Telepathy aside, what are you going to do with him?"

"I have no idea. I’m sort of flying by the seat of my pants right now."

"Maybe you should come spend the night at my place," Billy suggested. "That way I'll know he can't eat you, just in case he forgets he owes you."

That got the cat's attention, and he growled at Billy.

"Or," Billy said, "maybe not."

The cat got up, the hamburger a distant dream, and pushed his way between Elijah and Billy.

"I think he likes you," Billy said with a disturbing grin.

Elijah rolled his eyes. "I draw the line at bestiality."

"Yeah, but does he?"

The cat glowered at Billy. "Tell him to shut up."

"He says to shut up," Elijah told Billy.

"No really, you two are really cute together. Can you have kittens?"

"Does he ever shut up?" the cat asked.

"No," Elijah said.

"You're just friends, though, right?"

"Why?"

"Just asking."

"Maybe I should go spend the night with Billy," Elijah suggested.

That got another growl.

"He doesn't like to share," Billy noted. "Good thing you broke things off with Randy. He might have eaten him."

"I would have let him," Elijah said.

The cat pushed Elijah even further away from Billy, sequestering him in the living room.

"Make him go away."

"Why?"

"So I can rest. I can't change back until I rest more."

"Change back to what? Do you have alien tentacles?" Elijah grinned at that.

The cougar knocked into the back of his knees, and Elijah found himself sitting on the floor getting licked again. In between giggles, trying his best, and failing utterly, to push the large cat away, Elijah said, "Why didn't you grow tentacles at the zoo? You could have used one to jimmy the door open yourself."

"I can't change into whatever I want to. I couldn't change at all. I'd been there too long. I was losing myself. I needed to be free, and have fresh food and water." He butted Elijah in the chest, knocking him to his back. "And I don't have tentacles."

"So go ahead and do whatever you need to do."

"Not while he's here. Do not speak of it, please. It is not allowed except with one of our own"

Elijah had a ton of questions, but allowed that even telepathic cats from outer space had the right to privacy. He considered the cat that was practically in his lap. Feeling foolish, knowing he was putting his neck too close to the cat's very sharp teeth, Elijah threw his arms around the cat and hugged him. His fur was so soft to his hands and his cheek, now resting on the cat's shoulder.

The cat started to purr.

"Am I interrupting?" Billy said dryly.

"I like him," was Elijah's response muffled by the cat's fur.

"And he likes you," Billy said.

The purring was loud. Really loud. Locomotive loud. Elijah liked it. He closed his eyes and let the sound, and the rumbling underneath his chest, lull him into sleepiness.

"Elijah!"

"Hm?"

"Elijah," Billy said, closer now.

The cat whipped his head around and narrowed his eyes.

"I gotta say, I’m uncomfortable leaving you here with him," Billy said. "If he wasn't a mountain lion, I'd say he wants in your pants. And if he wasn't a mountain lion, I might be okay with that, because it's been way too long since you've gotten laid, but he is a mountain lion, and this whole thing is way too weird for me."

"He doesn't want in my pants," Elijah said. "Like you said, he's not exactly human."

In his head, all of a sudden, was a sense of home, of belonging, of cuddling together under blankets on a cold morning, when there's nothing to do but talk and laugh and drink hot chocolate.

"Huh," Elijah said.

"Huh what?" Billy complained.

"My life is so weird."

"I can't argue with you."

Elijah rubbed his nose in the cougar's soft fur. "Go home, Billy. I’m fine. The last thing this cougar plans to do is kill me. I saved his life, and he understands that. I just fed him, and all he wants to do now is sleep." And cuddle, Elijah thought, but he kept that last thought to himself.

Billy stood there, frowning at them.

"Really, it's all right." There was something strong and steady and solid about the cat that appealed to Elijah. It was like a huge stuffed animal, but one that purred. If they could figure out how to animate stuffed animals like this, someone would make a killing.

"I'm not a stuffed animal," the cat said in a somewhat haughty tone.

Embarrassed, Elijah tried to pull away, but the cat wouldn't hear of it, knocking Elijah completely to the floor onto his back, and laying his head on his chest, prodding his hand until Elijah started scratching his ears.

That seemed to convince Billy. "All right, I'm leaving. But I if come back tomorrow and find out that he's eaten you, or that you've both gone off in his spaceship, I will be pissed off."

Elijah snickered. "I think that's fair." The purring was making him sleepy; his eyelids were starting to drift shut. Having a huge cat practically lying on top of you, purring, his body vibrating with the noise, gently rocking Elijah like a Trager massage, was all too much after the day Elijah had had. The week. How had this happened again? There was a freaking mountain lion sleeping on him.

"Stop thinking."

Elijah mentally paused, then decided it was a good idea. "Okay. Night, Billy."

Billy harrumphed and stomped to the door, slamming it shut behind him, but took the time to relock the door. Good old Billy.

"Does anyone else have a key?"

"No."

"Good. Let's go to bed."

Elijah frowned at the cat. He wasn't sure how to take potential sexual innuendo from another species.

"To sleep," the cat told him. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Hey! My mind was not in the gutter. Or if it was, you totally threw me in there. But I am not having sex with a giant cat. And I'm never saying that again because it's wigging me out. In fact, let's pretend I didn't say it. Okay?" Elijah shivered. Mostly because while he definitely was not into bestiality, there was something about this cat that was, well, making him want to cuddle, and up to now, cuddling usually led to sex.

The cat chuffed several times. Then he got to his feet, and Elijah felt suddenly cold without his cougar blanket. "You take the bed. I'll sleep on the couch. I don't want to offend your sensibilities, or make you think you might lose control over yourself and attack me."

"Okay, I deserve that," Elijah said with a grin. "But cut me some slack here. I haven't had a lot of practice playing host to telepathic cats from outer space." And he didn't want to sleep in the bed if the cougar was going to sleep out here. He could feel his lower lip protruding in a pout. On the other hand, it was probably a good idea. "You'll still be here in the morning?"

"Yes."

"Okay. You need to go out and take a leak?"

"Yes."

"Back to one word answers?"

"Do you need me to wax poetic about pissing in your backyard?"

Chuckling, Elijah stood, brushing hair off of him. "Maybe."

"I'll work on it."

He walked into the kitchen, and opened the back door. The cat slipped by him into the dark. For a crazy moment he wondered if he should put a cat door in. A really, really, big cat door. That opened up the entire train of thought as to what the hell he was going to do with a mountain lion. It's not like he could keep him, but he didn't want him to go away.

While he was standing there woolgathering, the cougar came back in, appearing out of nowhere, rubbing the full length of his body along Elijah's leg.

Elijah just couldn't get it out of his head that there was something improper going on. He felt like a virgin in a Victorian bodice ripper, clueless to the Lord of the Manor's heated desires.

The cougar, who had been back at his water bowl, stared at him, and Elijah swore he was trying to roll his eyes.

Pulling himself back together, Elijah asked, "Need to brush your teeth?"

"Tomorrow. Sleep now."

Elijah blinked. He tried to imagine attempting to brush those canines that were a good solid inch long, maybe two.

The cat took one last lap of water, then padded into the living room and leaped on the couch. "Shut off the lights, will you?"

"You don't need opposable thumbs for that," Elijah pointed out, even as he hit the light switch in the kitchen and living room. "Well, goodnight."

"Night. And thanks again. Really. I'll make it up to you somehow."

"You don't need to do that. I'm having a pretty good time." A giggle and wide grin broke out at that. "I mean that. This is like a fantasy come true, one of my stories come to life. Like getting an invitation to Hogwarts or finding a dragon egg."

"Your stories?"

"I write. It's what I do for a living?"

The cat looked at the book shelves. "Some of these yours?"

Elijah nodded, walking to the book shelf and pulling out his latest in hardcover. He showed it to the cougar.

"Best seller?"

"Yup," Elijah said proudly.

"I'll look forward to reading it."

Elijah pictured the two of them in bed, cuddling only, and him reading to the cat.

"You have the oddest thoughts," the cougar said.

Elijah was sure the cat was laughing at him.

"I can't help it. This whole thing has been really odd. And I really like you."

The cat jumped off the couch and head butted Elijah on his hip. As if that was sufficient to communicate a reciprocal emotional statement, the cat went back on the couch.

Reluctant to leave and go to his bedroom, leaving the cat out here alone, and him going to his room alone, but finding no reason to stay, Elijah slowly left the room and headed to the bathroom.

*****

Elijah slept fitfully. He kept waking up in a panic, sure he'd imagined the whole thing, or sure that the cat had left, maybe disintegrating, or going back to his own time, like Christopher Reeves in Somewhere in Time.

Twice he'd gotten up to peek, only needing to get half way there before the cat's combination purr and snore came reassuringly rumbling down the hall. He lay in bed now, fighting the impulse to go check again.

Something leaped on the bed, and Elijah barely managed to bite back a scream. "Shit, you scared me."

"Sorry." The cat lazily blinked at Elijah, the moonlight reflecting in his eyes. He lay down on the blankets, his body against Elijah's leg. "Go to sleep."

"Why are you in here?"

"You keep waking me up. Besides, I'd rather be in here with you."

Elijah thought he should argue, but he'd rather have the cat in here with him, too. He put a hand on the cat's flank, allowing the steady rise and fall, and the vibration of the cat's purring, to put him fast asleep.

*****

Elijah wasn't sure what to expect when he woke up, but he clearly had been expecting something to be different, because he was surprised to open his eyes and find the cougar still there next to him, looking exactly the same. Well, not exactly the same; he was sprawled out, taking up a good two-thirds of the bed, and his nose was in Elijah's armpit. He craned his neck to glance at the clock and saw it was, Jesus, almost one in the afternoon. They'd slept for ages.

The cougar's eyes opened. "Shit." There was a world of unhappiness in that one mentally uttered word.

"Good morning to you, too," Elijah said. "What's wrong?"

The cougar actually put a paw over its face and growled.

"Seriously," Elijah said. "What's wrong?"

"I should have shifted. I shouldn't be a cougar anymore."

"Are you trying to tell me that you're a handsome prince under all that cat fur?"

"No. Sort of. But not how you're thinking."

Elijah wasn't sure he knew what he was thinking. Although he was sure that the next line out of the cat's mouth, so to speak, would be to ask for a kiss.

"I need to see our Shaman," were the next telepathic words from the cougar, interrupting Elijah's fairy tale reverie.

"And that really wasn't what I thought you'd say," Elijah confessed.

The cat pounced on him, making Elijah "oof" out a breath. "For someone who is dead set against bestiality, you sure do think about touching me a lot."

"Get off me, you huge furball," Elijah complained, futilely pushing at the cat. "And shut up. It's like one of those weird, kinky, porn fantasies that you might read and wank off to, but you'd never actually do it. We're not even supposed to talk about it." He smacked the cat that was lying across his chest. "Get off. And don't even tell me you haven't been thinking about it, too."

The cat turned his head and stared at Elijah, his cat eyebrows high on his brow.

"Not to do, you kinky bastard. Just thinking. Get off! I can't breathe."

The cougar, slowly, edged off until just his head was on Elijah's chest. Elijah began to scratch his ears.

"I love it when you do that," the cougar said, the words, even in Elijah's mind, hard to hear around the purring. "Can you drive me home?"

"Where's home?"

"Mesa, Arizona."

Elijah stopped scratching the cat. "That's like six hours from here. You want me to drive you in the back seat of my very non-window-tinted car for six hours?"

"I don't know what to do. How the hell did I get myself in this situation?" The purring had stepped down a notch, but it had an anxious feel to it, like rapid breathing in an anxious adult.

"That's a good place to start, actually. What is your situation, exactly? What are you? I don't know anything about you, except what's happening right now. I don't even know your name."

"Sean."

"Sean," Elijah repeated, liking it.

The cougar licked him. "You just like everything about me, admit it."

Elijah wiped his face off. "I sort of do."

"I do, too."

Elijah beamed at the cat, while the cat chuffed at him.

"Now that that's established, Sean," Elijah said, emphasizing his name, "what do you look like when you don't look like this?"

"I'm human."

Elijah's brows shot up. "Human? Like me?"

"Exactly like you, actually, just not like most other humans."

"What do you look like?"

"I have a picture in my wallet…oh, wait, my wallet's in my other suit."

"Ha ha, funny guy. Funny cat. Whatever. What do you look like?"

"Short, like you. Not thin, unlike you. Kind of stocky. I don't know. Just a guy."

"Just a guy who can turn into a mountain lion."

"Yeah, other than that."

"Jesus, Sean, they might have euthanized you! And it would have been all my fault!" Just the idea of it, despite the fact that Sean was with him safe and sound, made Elijah's heart race and a sweat break out all over his body. He wrapped his arms around Sean's feline head. "Jesus. What the hell happened that you ended up in the zoo? Why weren't you more careful? People shoot mountain lions all the time. Oh, my God, I think I'm having a heart attack."

The cougar or Sean now, Elijah supposed, lay there, not responding, tongue flicking out to lick Elijah's arm. Elijah didn't know how he knew, but he knew Sean was thinking. Only having him right here, in his arms, allowed Elijah to lie patiently, waiting for Sean's thoughts on the subject.

The cat stood, excitedly, onto his four paws, staring down at Elijah. "Oh my God, how could I forget? I was on a vision quest."

Elijah blinked up at Sean. "A what? I mean, I heard you, but what?"

Sean began to lick Elijah's face, managing to evade Elijah's flailing hands trying to keep that huge raspy tongue and its spit off his skin. "I was on a vision quest. Our Shaman…I've been so unhappy lately." He shook his head, again in such a human way, that Elijah could so easily see the person he was beneath all that fur. "Restless, turning to my cougar shape too often to get away from myself. She has visions sometimes and told me she'd seen that I would find what I was searching for on a vision quest." He stared down at Elijah. "And here you are."

"And here I am," Elijah said. "You mean your vision quest was for me?" He wasn't sure how he felt about that. A part of him was thrilled, flattered, even accepting, but another part was skeptical and anxious about what that actually meant. He knew Sean truly thought he was a cat like him, but Elijah could hardly believe it. How could he have lived so long and never known it about himself. Sean was mistaken, and that mean Elijah wasn't what he'd been looking for.

"Oh, my God," Sean said again, practically jumping on the bed, he was so excited. His entire body was quivering. "I can remember the start of it all so clearly now. She told me I would walk down a dark path but that I must have faith that I would find what I was seeking for." His feline features screwed up like a grimace, and he added, "I didn't do such a good job with the keeping faith part. I had almost given up all hope when I heard your voice."

Elijah began to have more sympathy for all his fictional characters that happened upon something magical and difficult to believe, only then to find they were also exceedingly ill equipped to deal with the situation. It was a little humiliating to find himself in the same position and doing just as badly. He'd have thought all that writing would have given him a leg up. He watched Sean prowl on the bed, growling as if chastising himself for losing his way. "Cut yourself some slack," Elijah suggested, thinking he should probably take his own advice. "You were taken prisoner and treated badly and saw no hope for escape. Anyone would have gotten depressed about that."

"I'm smarter than that, though," Sean said. "No, I am," he said when Elijah rolled his eyes. "When you shift, you have the gifts of both species, and I have always been able to get out of any situation I've been in; maybe by the skin of my teeth or the hairs of my tail, but I've managed. But not this time. I should have been able to escape. I certainly shouldn't have thrown myself against my cage like that."

Sean's tail flipped by Elijah's face and he grabbed it, running his fingers down the length of it. "Stop beating yourself up. You figured something out. Because, look, here you are."

"You mean you figured something out," Sean argued.

"Only because you left an unavoidable impact on me. You did that. And once I finally believed this might really be happening, you were the one who had to give me commands to follow. I was useless."

The cat rubbed his cheeks against Elijah's chin, first the left cheek, then the right.

"Are you marking me?" Elijah asked with a smile.

"Yes. I'm staking my territory. I'd pee on you if I thought you'd let me."

Elijah burst into laughter. “I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself.” Privately he didn’t agree, he absolutely felt marked and staked out and loving it. But the truth of it was he didn’t even know what Sean looked like, not to mention that they lived in different states, and they barely knew each other.

“No, I’m not, I'm not getting ahead of myself,” Sean said. His yellow-eyed gaze seemed to penetrate straight into Elijah’s soul.

“What if I’m not one of you?” Because Elijah really didn’t think he was.

“You are.”

“Why don’t I know it, then?”

“You have to be taught how to shift. Who raised you?”

Elijah turned his head away, not ready to talk about his childhood even with Sean. “I don’t know who my parents were,” he said, addressing what he thought was the key issue.

“There is an entire clan ready to accept you as family. You will always have family, even if you don’t choose me as your mate.”

“I have a choice?” Elijah asked, a crooked smile on his face. Family. He couldn’t imagine having a family.

“No,” Sean said.

Elijah huffed out a laugh. “My life has suddenly gotten very strange.” He wasn't in the least threatened by Sean's succinct answer. Elijah felt extraordinarily safe when he was with Sean, and it wasn’t only due to his teeth and claws. There was no other excuse for why he lay back on his bed, wearing only a pair of sweat pants and t-shirt, and wasn’t at all worried about a 200 pound mountain lion pacing his bed, occasionally, like he thought he was a house cat, flopping on top of him. Not once had Sean scratched him, or crushed him past the point of endurance.

Sean settled back on the bed, and Elijah played with one of his paws, measuring his hand against the pads, running his fingers over the claws. They were very impressive. “Why do you need to see your Shaman?”

“I can’t seem to shift back. After I ate, drank, and slept, I should be able to shift back easily, but I can’t.”

Elijah wasn’t sure how he could tell, but the cat looked disgruntled.

“It’s embarrassing. Even a cub knows how to shift back and forth.”

“What do you usually do to shift back?”

“Just the thought sees it done.”

“Is it me somehow?”

“I don’t know how. Besides, I very much want to be in my human form right now.”

Elijah could feel himself reddening. “Will you be naked when you shift? Will I suddenly find myself in bed with a naked man?”

Sean chuffed. “No, I’ll be wearing what I was wearing when I changed.”

“How does that work?”

“Magic,” Sean said with a teasing lilt to his mental voice.

The doorbell rang, slicing through their conversation. Panic surged through Elijah. “Fuck. It’s the zoo. They found out I took you.” He got off the bed, his heart racing, palms sweating, his mind blanking. “What do we do? Hide. Quick. Jesus, will they bring CSI people in to find evidence? Shit. There's cat hair everything. I can’t even think.” His stomach was knotting up so tightly, Elijah pressed a hand against his abdomen. More evidence that he was useless in a crisis.

Sean had his head cocked to the side. “Breathe, Elijah.”

“Easy for you to say,” Elijah snapped.

“Not really. I’m the one they’ll put a tranquilizer dart in, remember?”

“Right. Sorry. That was an asshole thing to say. I’m just panicking. Seriously.”

“Elijah!” someone yelled.

Elijah collapsed on the bed. “Oh, thank God, it’s just Billy.”

“Go let him in before he thinks I ate you,” Sean prompted.

Elijah slid off the bed. “Going.” He headed for the front door and swung it open. Billy was standing there, fist poised to bang on the door some more. Behind him, on the road, someone else was pulling in behind Elijah’s car. Elijah's heart leapt in his chest in fear. “Fuck.”

Billy looked behind him. “What’s the matter?”

Grabbing Billy by the arm, Elijah dragged him inside. “Was there anything on the news today about a missing cougar?”

“Nothing.”

Elijah peered out the peephole. A very attractive blonde woman was sitting in her car, her eyes closed. Then, with a nod, she got out of the car, pulled a bag out of the back seat that she slung over her shoulder, and began walking to the front door. “Who is she?” he demanded of the world. He almost had a stroke when he saw Sean standing on the living room couch, peering through the window, pushing the curtain aside to see more clearly. “What the fuck are you doing?” Elijah attempted to push Sean away from the window.

“It’s the Shaman!” Sean said with excitement. “It’s Kathryn. Let her in.” He grinned at Billy, showing off all his teeth.

Billy took a step back, which knocked him into Elijah who had been making his way to the door.

“Graceful,” Sean noted.

“Shut up,” Elijah told him. “And stop scaring Billy.” He opened the door. “Hello?”

She was a tall woman, several inches taller than Elijah, with long blonde hair and light blue eyes that were almost grey. She was beautiful, and had this wonderful serene mother-earth vibe to her that made Elijah like her immediately. She looked uncertain. “I’m not sure how to ask this, but do you know someone named Sean?”

“Shut the door! Shut the door!” Sean yelled, leaping off the couch.

Elijah did, and then Sean was pushing into Kathryn, weaving in and out of her legs, brushing against her hands that she held out for him. She was laughing, and then kneeling, wrapping her arms around him. “Oh, Sean, we’ve been so worried!”

It was weird, knowing Sean was speaking to her, because he clearly was, but Elijah couldn’t hear. It made him feel left out, as if he didn’t matter any more. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he wasn’t good at this stuff. He never had been; his feelings got hurt much too easily.

Then Sean was back with him, leaping up until his huge paws were on Elijah’s chest. Elijah slammed into the door, glad it had been there, or he’d be flat on his back. Sean licked Elijah from chin to eyebrow.

“Gah!” Elijah said, turning his head but laughing now. “Stop it.” Sean dropped down on all four paws, but stayed leaning against Elijah.

“I’m Billy,” Billy told Kathryn. “Should I feel left out that I’m the only one who doesn’t have a mountain lion for a best friend?” To Elijah he added, “I’m glad he didn’t eat you last night. Or this morning.”

Elijah grinned and then found himself being hugged by Kathryn. “Thank you,” she said warmly. “Sean tells me you saved his life.”

“He saved his own life,” Elijah said. “I was stubborn and an idiot, but he managed to work with me anyway.”

“I don’t believe it for a minute,” she argued. “I can see what a kind and loving heart you have.”

“That’s my boy,” Billy said, slapping Elijah’s shoulder. “Always an easy touch. I have to watch out for him all the time.”

“I suspect you do,” Kathryn answered Billy, but she was staring at Elijah with wise eyes.

Elijah looked down at the floor, annoyed at how true it was. He didn’t like saying no, and people could tell. It was why he’d built himself a fairly solitary life. Other than Billy, and his agent and publicist, Elijah didn’t see too many people.

Sean purred against Elijah, the vibration slowly relaxing him.

“I think you’re wonderful,” Sean told him.

“Thanks,” Elijah said back, feeling immensely better. To Kathryn, he said, “He can’t seem to change back.”

“I know, but I can help him.” She glanced at Billy, then back to Elijah. “Is he a part of your heart as well? Do you trust him with secrets?”

“Yes,” Elijah said firmly. “At least my own. There’s nothing about me he doesn’t know.”

“Very well.” She looked at Sean, and the two of them seemed to share a private conversation. Sean’s eyes shifted to Billy, then to Elijah. Then they moved back to Kathryn. She nodded. “I think that’s a wise decision, Sean.” Smiling at Billy, she said, “Sean has chosen to trust you with his secrets as well. But understand, these are important secrets that must never be shared without permission. Do you agree?”

Billy was uncharacteristically solemn as he nodded his head. “I’d never hurt Elijah. Never. And I barely know the cat, but I can see he’s important to Elijah, and that’s good enough for me.”

Kathryn beamed at him. "Then let’s find someplace comfortable to sit and meditate.”

Billy’s eyebrows shot up. “Meditate?”

Kathryn laughed softly. “It is not necessary for you to meditate, but you are welcome to join us.”

They all trooped in, following Elijah, into his office. He closed all the sheer curtains, but left the shades up so sunlight could still get in. Elijah threw some cushions on the floor and then made himself comfortable on one, Sean hunkering down beside him. Kathryn sat across from Sean, and Billy sat next to her.

She opened her bag and brought out a large abalone shell with an iridescent center and placed it on the floor between them. Then she brought out a stick of sage, tied with bright red string, and laid that in the shell. Next was a beautiful large feather with a quill large and strong enough to be a quill pen, the feather mostly white but with several dark brown stripes. “Anyone allergic?” she asked.

Elijah and Billy shook their heads.

She next produced a lighter and lit the tip of the sage until it burst into flame. Kathryn allowed it to burn for a few seconds before blowing it out. Scented smoke filled the room, rising in spirals from the sage bundle. “Sean?”

Sean rose and moved next to her. Kathryn started to sage him, using the feather to push the smoke in his direction, running the still smoking sage the length of his back, along his tail and under, along his belly, and down all four legs. Sean lifted each paw, one by one, so she could run the sage under his feet. Then she feathered more smoke directly into his face. Kathryn leaned down then and pressed her forehead to his, and they communed for a moment. After that, Sean moved back to his spot.

“Elijah?”

“Huh?”

“Your turn.”

A little embarrassed but game, Elijah stood up and walked over to her. She rose and began the same process.

“What’s this do?” he asked.

“It rids you of negative energy. Sage is very purifying. Arms out.”

He did as directed, and she used the feather to direct the smoke at his arms, torso and then his legs. At her command, he put his hand on her shoulder. “Lift your legs one at a time and, after I run the sage under your feet, place them back down consciously, connecting with the earth.” Elijah felt a little foolish, but he obeyed her, and felt an unexpected thrill when his feet touched the earth, even covered as it was with cement and wood and rugs. He found himself standing a little taller, connected with his body in a way he couldn’t remember ever being.

“Use your hands to take the smoke and wash your face and hands in it,” she next told him.

He did as he was told, loving this now, and he glanced down to smile at Sean who was watching him.

“Good,” she praised him. “Now, Billy?”

“Me?” he said, looking appalled.

“You,” she insisted.

Elijah pulled him up, saying, “It’s cool. It feels great.”

Billy looked unconvinced, but he, also, followed directions, and it was weird to watch the usual stress Billy carried around seem to melt away. By the time Billy sat down, he looked five years younger and his eyes were bright.

Kathryn handed the sage to Elijah. “Now you can do this for me.”

Petrified he’d do it wrong, she laughed gently at him. “I’ll talk you through it. All it requires is your intention to bless me. Are you able to do that?”

He nodded, already truly liking this Shaman of Sean’s. “I’ll do my best.” She did as promised and walked him through the cleansing until, by the end of it, Elijah felt like an old hand at it.

“Thank you,” she said, as she took the sage from him. “You can do this any time you wish. I will leave supplies with you. When you’ve had a bad day, when your energy feels muddled, or when you just wish to add a layer of peace to your home, you can perform this ritual.”

“That is so cool,” Elijah enthused. He sat back down, instinctively placing one hand on Sean’s head.

From one instant to the next, instead of his hand being on a mountain lion’s head, it was on the light brown hair of a man.

“Oh, thank God,” Sean said. He sat up and took Elijah’s hand in his. “Hey. I’m Sean.”

 

“Wow.” Elijah was riveted. Sean was gorgeous. He was solid, and strong, and Elijah pulled him in and hugged him, ecstatic when Sean returned the embrace tightly, as if he never intended to let Elijah go.

"No way!" Billy exclaimed. "No freaking way!"

"Now you know the secret you promised to hold," Kathryn told him.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone," Billy protested. "Besides, who'd believe me? I saw it, and I don't believe it." He gaped at Sean, eyes round, barely blinking.

"And now you," Kathryn said to Elijah.

Elijah was not ready to let go of Sean. Safe in his arms, he looked at Kathryn. "Me? I can't do that." He agreed with Billy, he had seen it, knew Sean had been the cougar, but barely believed it himself.

"You can."

"Come on," Sean said. "You'll love it."

Elijah squinched his face up. "Right, because you've been having such a blast with it lately."

"Okay, point," Sean said. "But up until then, it was great, and it'll be great again. Besides you don't have to be a shifter to have a bad week."

The thought he was something so radically different from what he'd always believed himself to be was inconceivable. "So, I'm a cougar, too?"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Wood?" Billy complained.

"They're sure I'm a shifter, too," Elijah told him.

"You are not."

"That's what I said," Elijah agreed, "but they're both really believe it."

"I wouldn't have been able to communicate with you if you weren't," Sean pointed out.

"Well, maybe I had ancestors who could do this, and you just connected with a non-dominant gene laying around latent in me."

"Trust us," Kathryn insisted, "and to answer your question, no, you are not a cougar. You are something quite different, but no less lovely."

"I’m sorry, but from where I am in my head, and where you want me to be in my head, are like as far apart as the north and south sides of the Grand Canyon," Elijah confessed.

"Let me show you how easy it is," Sean said, and he was once again a cougar. He'd shifted so fast Elijah didn't even see it happen. Then he was a man again.

"That is very cool," Elijah said, "but to go from that to me doing that?" He shook his head.

"Let's all sit again," Kathryn suggested.

Elijah mostly wanted to drag Sean into the other room and have him all to himself, but he sat down, pleased when Sean sat right next to him, their knees touching, as he took Elijah's hand in his.

"I know you barely know me," Kathryn said, "but can you trust me, at least a little?"

"Of course," Elijah said. "I already trust you a lot. You helped Sean, and Sean totally trusts you."

"And you trust Sean?"

Elijah glanced at Sean. "Yes. I do."

Sean squeezed his hand.

Kathryn moved closer until she was sitting on his other side. She invited Billy to come closer so he could watch. She took Elijah's other hand. "Close your eyes."

Elijah obediently closed his eyes and found that he was terrified. He was having a hard time catching his breath, and his heart was pounding so hard he was sure Sean and Kathryn must be able to hear it. There was a shushing sound of his blood in his ears, and he felt lightheaded.

Then his mind was filled with images of a forest, the ground dappled with sunshine, the soft layers of fallen pine needles carpeting the soil. The three of them were racing through the underbrush, their hearts soaring, their senses so alive, so alert, catching the presence of dozens of smaller animals, the birds in the trees, the smells, oh the smells, and Elijah felt his body change. He grew smaller, much smaller, but he was more alive, had so much energy, he thought he would burst with it. He opened his eyes and looked up at Sean, who was still sitting on the floor next to him.

"Holy fuck!" said Billy.

"Look at you! You are so beautiful!" Sean said in sincere admiration. "What type of cat is he?" he asked Kathryn.

Elijah swung his head toward her, listening as she said, "He's an ocelot."

"An ocelot," Sean said, satisfied. "He looks like a small jaguar." He put out his hand slowly and lay it on Elijah's back. "Hey there, Elijah." His hand smoothed down Elijah's back.

Then Elijah couldn’t stand it anymore, and he had to move. He leapt up at Sean and madly licked his face. His taste was delightful, like honey. Sean started to laugh, and Elijah licked him some more, than dashed off to lick Billy, then Kathryn, then back to Sean, liking him best.

Elijah found himself thinking about one foster home he lived in that had cats living upstairs. Every now and then the cats would start to race around, as if someone had filled them with high octane gas. Just listening to them made him giggle.

Now, now he understood. Because he was filled to capacity with jubilation at the capability of his body, it was filling every last inch of him, making him tremble with anticipation of running faster, harder, pushing himself so he could rejoice in what he was. It bubbled through his veins like the finest champagne. He raced around the office and then did it again. Then he did a fast circuit of the house, awash in a sense of his…his fantastic-ness!

He could hear Sean laughing behind him, but Elijah didn't care. He was awesome; awesomely awesome. He was fast and agile and there didn't seem to be any orientation needed; he was in this body and he was this body, and he zoomed back into the office and jumped on his desk, sending papers flying. "Look at me!" he crowed. "Look at what I can do!" He glanced around and saw his book shelves and took a leap to get to the top shelf, scattering books. It was like flying.

Then he jumped down easily to the floor and leapt into Sean's lap rubbing against him, and then tasting his skin again. He jumped toward Billy and dashed around Billy. "Look at me! Look at me!"

"He's saying 'Look at me!'" Sean told Billy, barely able to get the words out he was laughing so hard.

"Yeah, I figured that out on my own," Billy said, having to turn in circles to keep Elijah in his sight. "I don't fucking believe this."

Elijah tore for his bedroom, but then came back and said to Sean, "Come with me!"

Sean got up and followed Elijah to the bedroom until Elijah was standing in front of the full-length mirror. He admired himself for a very long time.

Sean squatted down and admired Elijah right along with him. "See how beautiful you are? I love your spots." He pointed to one on Elijah's side. "I think that’s my favorite."

"Change!" Elijah invited him.

The cougar was instantly standing by his side.

"You're so much bigger than me," Elijah said in awe. And he was. Sean was huge compared to him. Twice as tall, just his tail was almost as long as Elijah's body. "I’m like a house cat compared to you." Not that he minded. He was glorious! Both of them were!

 

"I couldn't have jumped on those shelves," Sean said, his tones rich in his pride for Elijah.

Elijah glanced at Sean's powerful hind quarters. "No, but you can probably jump higher than me."

"We're the greatest cats ever! Look at yourself. You're wonderful. I wish I had those spots, and those amazing stripes on your face and neck. I could stare at you all day." He nudged Elijah. "Of course, I could stare at you as a human all day, too."

"I can't believe I can do this," Elijah said. "I can't believe I'm looking at myself." He was quivering with excitement. His whiskers were all atremble and he would never, never get tired of this. "Am I using all my energy up? Will I be exhausted when I change back?"

"No," Sean said. "It's different. When you're a cat, you have cat energy, and when you're a person, you have person energy. If anything, you'll have more energy as a person, because, well, I’m not sure why, but when I'm human, I can feel the cat inside me. But when I'm a cat, I know I'm a human, but I can't really feel it, except rationally in my head."

Elijah leaned on Sean, feeling just as safe as he had when next to Sean the person, or as a human next to Sean as a cougar. Sean just made him feel safe. He couldn't wait to take a nap in a sunny spot with Sean's large cougar body wrapped around him. Heaven!

A thought occurred to him, one as stupendous as this shifting thing was. "Change back."

They both changed back to humans as quickly as the thought. Then Elijah, so glad Sean was the same height as he was, wrapped his arms around him and kissed him.

"Oh, oh, you are the smartest cat ever," Sean said, returning the kiss in spades.

It was, hands down, or paws down, Elijah thought with a wild glee, the best kiss ever in the entire world of kisses, because he knew what Sean wanted and Sean knew what he wanted, and their words of longing played in their heads while their tongues and lips and teeth said the same but in a language of their own.

When they broke apart, Elijah was breathless, exhilarated, and he was smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. "Sean." He ran a hand wonderingly down the man's cheek, staggered at his life right now compared to his life a week ago. "I am completely in love with you," he whispered, "and I don't really even know you. How is that possible?"

Sean kissed him reverently. "That's the way it is with shifters. We find our mate, and that's it for us. You're it for me, Elijah. For always. And I love you, too. So, so much." He pulled Elijah tightly into his arms. "That day at the zoo, when I heard your voice, I knew it right then, or at least part of me did. I was too out of it to understand it, completely, but I knew it."

"I guess I did, too," Elijah said, mulling it over. "Even though I thought I was really going insane, I couldn't stay away. Your voice in my head, even the way you looked, everything about you, was lodged deep inside of me. I might have kept away for a day or two but, trust me, you were never out of my thoughts."

"That day you left, when I made you angry, and I'm sorry about that, whatever it was," Sean said sincerely, touching his forehead to Elijah's, "well, it was awful. By then your presence had helped me start down the road back to myself, and I knew who you were even then, what you were to me, and the thought that I'd lost you, that I'd pushed you away." Sean shook his head, clutching at Elijah's side as if he might walk away again. "I went crazy."

"And you almost died because of it," Elijah cried. He had to hold Sean for a moment, letting that thought slowly dissipate to be replaced by the reassuring feel of the solidity of the man in his arms. "The ironic thing is that what pissed me off was you saying I was different." Elijah let out a mirthless huff of breath. "I've been different my whole life, and it hasn't been a good thing. But I am different. And it is a good thing," he finished triumphantly.

"It's a fabulous thing," Sean agreed, sneaking another kiss.

"God, Sean, what if they'd just put you down. I never would have known you, known this." Elijah had to swallow against the acid tang in his throat at the horribleness of that. Even the possibility of losing what he now knew he had stretched bleakly in front of him like a stygian darkness.

"It didn't happen," Sean reminded him. "And as much as I'd love, really, really, love to spend the day with you alone, we have guests, and I can't disrespect Kathryn that way."

"I could totally disrespect Billy that way," Elijah said with a giggle. "In fact, he'd expect it. He'd be very unhappy with me if he thought I had the opportunity to get laid and didn't take advantage of it."

Sean snickered. Then, sobering, he asked, "Will he keep our secret? Do you trust him this much?"

"Yes," Elijah said. "He's the only good thing about my childhood, and he's been the best thing in my life for a long time."

"Are you two…?" Sean couldn't even finish the sentence, and his eyes were filled with uneasiness.

"No, no," Elijah promised him. "Never. It's never been that way. We've just a team, him and I, against the world, you know?"

Sean blew out a relieved breath. "Yeah, I know. And I will honor him for it. I promise."

"You are just too good to be true," Elijah said, marveling.

"All cats are like that," Sean told him. "You'll never find a better group of people. And now you're a part of us."

"Can Billy be a part of that, if he wants to?"

Sean nodded. "There are non-shifters who are a part of our community. Sometimes cats even find their mates among them, but it's rare. And with Kathryn already knowing him, and welcoming him, he'll be instantly accepted."

"We can't stay here, then?" Elijah glanced around the room. He loved his house and felt a pang at having to let it go.

"We can keep this house, if you want," Sean told him, "but you'll want to live someplace with a lot of land and privacy so you can shift and have room to run. Living someplace like this would suffocate you." He smiled crookedly. "You might be able to get away with it in a place like this, because you could, at least from a distance, pass for a large house cat, but I couldn't."

"You don't think I could just be one of those crazy people who own a cougar for a pet?" Elijah said with an impish grin.

Sean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, no." He put his arm around Elijah's shoulder, and propelled him to the door. "Let's go."

Elijah stopped him for one more quick kiss, which ended up not being so quick, and as Elijah tore himself away, he gasped, "You're addictive."

Sean followed Elijah's lips with his own, humming agreement, and it was another few minutes before they stumbled, both feeling punch drunk, out of the room.

*****

They were all sitting around Elijah's dining room table, the dregs of dinner sitting on plates and in serving bowls. He'd never used this table for company and happily drank in the sense of family around him.

"Sean, what happened to you?" Kathryn asked, finally getting into the meat of things, the afternoon spent on Elijah's delight and learning some of the lore of the cats. "It's not like you to get in this sort of trouble."

"I know it," Sean agreed. "The scary thing is that I can't really remember and that's not a good thing."

Kathryn's gaze grew very serious. "No, it's not. You're not ill, I could sense that as soon as you changed to a cat, and I don't believe you have a mental disorder. Were you in an accident? Perhaps you got hit by a car and knocked your head?"

Sean took a sip of the coffee Elijah had made for all of them. "This is what I remember. I left after I received your blessing and went into the forest to start my vision quest. I stayed there for two days, not eating or sleeping, just wandering around, waiting for a sense of where I was supposed to go. At some point, I don't know exactly when, my cougar doesn't have the best sense of time, I felt it, and I headed west."

"Towards me," Elijah said with a grin. He repeated it gleefully in his head. Me!

Sean smiled at him, his love shining out of his eyes. "Towards you, Elijah." They smiled at each other long enough that Billy coughed with intent. "Sorry," Sean said, not looking sorry at all. With tender look at Elijah, he started his narrative again. "I made it to California without a problem. In fact, I was heading north in the Anza-Borrego Wilderness." He stopped, frowning. He snapped his fingers. "No, I remember entering the San Bernardino State Park and realizing I'd gone too far north."

"How long did all that take you?" Billy asked, looking as enthralled as Elijah.

"About a week. Fortunately as a cat, I can easily eat and drink along the way, even if I was only eating enough to survive, as I was still on my quest. But I had to avoid people, which sometimes slowed me down, especially if I had to turn into a human for a while. I can't move anywhere near as fast."

"What happened next?" Kathryn prompted.

Sean's eyes looked down as he bit his bottom lip. "It all gets a bit murky after that. I feel like I ran into someone, someone from a neighboring clan." He shook his head. "The next thing I really remember was Elijah's voice at the zoo." Sean counted out something on his fingers. "Considering today is Sunday, that's about two days unaccounted for."

A silence fell over the table as everyone considered this.

"Maybe," Billy said, tentatively, "you'd remember better as a cat. It seemed like your human part was the part having trouble remembering."

Kathryn sent Billy an approving glance and, in seconds, Sean was sitting at the table but as a cougar, his hind quarters on the chair seat, his front paws balanced at the table.

Elijah laughed at the sight.

Sean narrowed his gold feline eyes at him.

Elijah didn't stop laughing.

"All right boys," Billy drawled.

"Go ahead, Sean," Kathryn said. "See if things are clearer to you now."

Elijah could hear Sean speaking in his head, and was pleased when Kathryn, who could also hear him, took the time to translate for Billy.

"I changed directions, going in a more southwesterly direction, heading for what I now know was Riverside."

Elijah repeated the point: "Towards me!" He hugged the idea to himself joyously.

This time the golden eyes were full of affection.

Then, Sean growled. "I did meet someone." His eyes moved to Kathryn. "I met Robert."

"What was he doing all the way out there?" Kathryn asked.

Sean didn't answer, just looked to be deep in thought. Elijah could feel his agitation that then turned into anger. Sean shifted back into his human shape. "You didn't know this, Kathryn, and I should have told you, so forgive me."

"What is it?"

For Elijah's and Billy's sakes, Sean first explained saying, "Robert is a member of another clan in Arizona. Our clan and his share many celebrations together, and know each other well. He and I have been friends for years. I danced at his bonding ceremony several years past. He was mated to a wonderful woman who died about six months ago."

"We all sang at her funeral," Kathryn added. "She was a lovely woman with a tremendous healing talent."

Sean nodded his agreement. "About three months ago Robert began to spend more time with me. At first I was pleased, thinking he was coming out of his acute grieving period, and I was glad to be in his company."

"I hear a but coming," Elijah interjected.

"He…Kathryn, this is what I should have told you, so you could have spoken to his Shaman. He was not right. He smelled wrong. At first, I thought it was because he was sexually attracted to me and, because he was not the mate for me, that accounted for his smell being off. But he was quite insistent that I was meant to be his new mate."

Kathryn's eyes opened wide. "You?"

"I know," Sean said with a frown. To Elijah he said, "He had never been attracted to males before. It was very uncomfortable and did my best to avoid him. And now, with hindsight, I did poorly by him, because I believe he was fracturing under her loss, and he needed help not my rejection."

"Hindsight makes all of us geniuses," Kathryn said kindly. "What happened when you met him?"

"He was still persistent that I was his mate and acted as if my vision quest would come to an end once I saw him. It did not." He reached out and grabbed Elijah's hand, interlacing his fingers with Elijah's, squeezing them. "He was quite insistent. Unpleasantly so."

"Did he attack you?" Kathryn asked.

"No, I don't think so, but he got very angry and threatened me with crazy, well, almost clichéd villainous words that I didn't take very seriously. That only enraged him more." His lips tightened. "I'm embarrassed I didn't see the risk. My only excuse was that my heart was full of you already, Elijah, and I had little left over for what I saw as comic-book histrionics." He squeezed Elijah's hand again.

Kathryn reached over and touched Sean's other hand on the table. "You had already been fasting for many days, so you would not have been functioning at full capacity. A vision quest, a true one, is narrow-focused on purpose, to get you where you need to be. What were his threats?"

"That if he couldn't have me, no one could have me, that sort of stuff." Sean snorted. "I dismissed it but I should have been paying attention, because I think he drugged me with something. The next thing I know I'm being dumped out of a car in the middle of a city center, half-sedated, stumbling around even on my four feet, and there was screaming and people racing all around, knocking into me, until I felt a sharp pain in my flank and realized someone had tranquilized me."

"Sean!" Elijah said, horrified, his free hand over his mouth. "That's terrible. They could have shot you for real; they could have taken you to some place I never would have shown up at." All the ways this could have gone so wrong seemed more tangible than the slim chance that it had gone so right. Elijah held onto Sean's hand like a lifeline.

"I'm sure he thought I'd end up dead or in some zoo someplace with proper security. He almost got his wish. I don't know what he gave me, but I was more cat than human, even after I first heard Elijah, although meeting him helped." Sean reached out and tugged at Elijah's chair. "Sit closer."

Elijah inched his chair closer so he could hug Sean. "This story is going to give me nightmares."

"Me, too," Sean said. To Kathryn, who was looking very serious, he asked, "Is there a drug that can do this to a cat? Make him forget he is a human?"

"There is," she said, "but it is a drug used very sparingly, and only by Shamans. There are times when the healing of a mind or body is better served by dealing with the cat, and in those rare circumstances, the drug is used. I don't know how he knew of this…" Her lips tightened. "They may have used some on Alaina. She was in such pain at the end, and she dealt with it better as a cat."

"We did share a meal," Sean said. "At first he seemed so pleased to see me that I agreed to have a drink, although I resented every second lost on my quest. During that time our conversation deteriorated to threats. I suppose that must have been when he gave it to me. Does it take a while to work?"

"It can. I imagine you were fighting off the effects for a while, not even realizing what you were doing. Plus you were very focused on your goals, which might have assisted you in not giving in. Sean, I must report this to his Shaman. He must be found. If he finds out that you are alive, and that you've taken a mate, Elijah might be in danger."

Softly, Elijah whispered, "I thought all of the cats were kind. That's what you said."

"I know," Sean said sadly. "And it's mostly true. But I guess there're always exceptions. For the most part, we're really, well…"

"We're really lovely," Kathryn finished, having overheard the conversation. "You'll never find more excepting, gracious, or fun-loving people. No child goes without, no one gets marginalized, the elders are respected, and we worship life, Elijah. And Billy, you're welcome to come with us."

"What do you mean?" Billy said, looking anxious. "Go with you where?" He glanced nervously at Elijah. "You're leaving?"

Elijah stretched across the table to Billy and patted the table in front of him. "Come with us. That was always the plan."

"Always the plan? Since when?"

"About an hour ago. I can't stay here now that I know what I am. Sean can't change to a cougar here and go running in the back yard. I need to explore this new side of me. But you're a part of my life, and I want you with me."

"I have a job here."

"A job you hate."

"What will I do there?"

"We'll help you find a job. All of our people and the full-humans they embrace take care of one another. There'll be something perfect for you, Billy," Kathryn insisted. "I promise you that."

"When are you going?" Billy sounded lost.

"Not for a while," Elijah said. "I mean, I might go right away to meet everyone, but then I need to decide what to do with this house, and well, you know, move. We can move both our households at the same time. It will save money. Don't even think about it, Billy, just say yes."

Billy looked like someone had smacked him with a wet fish.

"Just nod your head and say yes," Elijah said again.

Billy nodded his head and said, "Yes."

"You won't regret it," Kathryn said.

"And you're welcome to stay with us until you find your own place," Sean said. "My home is quite large. In fact, you'll be welcome to stay as long as you like."

"I'd like my own place," Billy said. "I mean, eventually."

Elijah beamed at Billy. Then he beamed at Kathryn, then at Sean. Then he whooshed out a long, happy sigh. He wiggled his toes and hugged Sean again, burying his head in Sean's chest, afraid if he spoke he might cry, and he felt too happy to cry, even happy tears.

Sean pulled him out of his chair onto his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around Elijah. "I'm so glad I found you," he whispered into Elijah's ear. "I might have had a lot of family to keep me company, but I was so lonesome for you."

Tears came to Elijah's eyes, and he took a quick breath in that sounded, unfortunately, like a sob. He hugged Sean tighter. Hearing movement, he risked a quick glance and saw Kathryn and Billy discretely leave the room. Knowing it was just Sean, he pulled back. "I've been so lonesome, too, my whole life. I never fit anywhere, I just kept waiting for, I don't know, for people to trust, to care for me, and it never happened. Except for Billy, no one ever has, except maybe my publisher but I make him money."

"How could anyone not love you?" Sean asked in wonder. "You are beautiful inside and out. I'm so lucky, I can't even believe it."

"I'm the lucky one."

"We'll just have to argue about that for the next hundred years or so."

"Sounds perfect," Elijah said a little soggily, sniffing, and wiping at his eyes.

Sean brushed the tears off his cheeks. "So beautiful. So perfect. Everything I wanted from the bottoms of your feet to the top of your head."

"How do you know?" Elijah said with a flirty grin. "You haven't seen most of me."

"Something I hope to correct as soon as possible."

"Like now?"

"Let me see to Kathryn, and I think you need to see to Billy. We've thrown him quite a curve ball today. Then, it's time for me to eat you all up," he said with a growl.

Heat swamped Elijah at the thought, and his skin prickled with the need for Sean's hands to be sweeping over him. Just looking at his hands made his stomach jump and his groin heavy. "Oh, boy," he said, wishing he could just merge with the man. He was so everything. Elijah had never even known he could want anyone this way, and the fact that he could have it, would have it, elated him. "Let's do this fast, then, okay?"

"You got it." Sean stood up, Elijah still in his arms, and the strength of him, especially considering he wasn't any taller than Elijah, made his stomach do another flip. He wanted Sean laying on top of him right now, the weight of him pressing him down into the mattress. "God, I want you so bad," he gasped.

Sean let him down slowly, so their bodies were flush the entire time. "Feel how hard I am for you?" he asked, finding Elijah's lips and biting the lower one, tugging at it, then slanting his mouth over Elijah's and kissing him, sweeping inside when Elijah opened his mouth, their tongues mating.

During a pause, Elijah said, "I feel like I'm going to explode." With happiness, with an orgasm, with anticipation; what a gift to have so many fantastic ways to end that sentence.

Laughing, Sean hugged him, lifting him back off the floor. "God, really, how did I get so lucky? Let's say goodnight. I can't wait another second."

When they finally moved into the living room, Billy was already gone. "He said he'd see you tomorrow," Kathryn said with a smile. "And I'm on my way out, too."

"You can't drive home today," Sean protested. "You just got here."

"I've been here since yesterday," Kathryn said, "and I called Daniel as soon as I found you, and he's on his way. I have a room at a lovely hotel, and I am going back there so I can greet Daniel how I please and tell him all that's happened. He'll be thrilled for you and will look forward to meeting you tomorrow," she added, with a bright smile for Elijah. "This is a happy day!"

"I'll look forward to meeting him, too." Elijah wanted to say so much more but he was tongue tied at the thought and just moved forward to give her a hug. "Thank you," was all he said.

"No, Elijah. Thank you. Sean is so special to us, and you have kept him safe for us. And he has found such a mate in you. There will be a great celebration at your bonding!"

Elijah felt himself redden.

Sean burst out laughing, but then he hugged Elijah close to take any sting out of it. "No, no public sex stuff. It's like a wedding, but with cat stuff."

Elijah felt like his face was burning now. "Well, how am I supposed to know?"

"You're not, and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have laughed." But he was still laughing, and Elijah couldn't help but join in.

"On that note, I'll take my leave," Kathryn said. She kissed Sean on his cheek. "I'm so happy for you, my friend."

"Me, too," Sean said in all seriousness, his arm still around Elijah. "And thank you for coming to look for me. I'm sorry I worried all of you."

She grew serious as well. "It was not your fault. Something else I must tell Daniel. He will be grieved to hear about Robert."

"I'm sorry about that."

"I'll hear no more about you being sorry for anything. I know your kind heart," Kathryn said, "and you didn't make any of these choices for unkind purposes."

"How did you find him?" Elijah asked, suddenly wondering.

"With their permission," Kathryn said, "I form a link with any cat going on a vision quest so I can tell when they get in trouble." She looked apologetically at Sean. "I didn't do so well by you, Sean, and I'm sorry. I just couldn't get a reading from you, as it didn't seem as if you were in danger at any time, just confused, at least until the day before yesterday. Then I knew I had to come find you."

Sean hugged her. "There is nothing to apologize for. You showed up exactly when I needed you. If you'd showed up any earlier, I might not have found Elijah."

"Somehow I think you two would have found each other no matter what happened," she argued with a smile. Kathryn put her hands out and laid them on the tops of their heads. "I bless you both this night. May you rejoice in one another and find peace in each other."

"Thank you, Shaman," Sean said.

"Thank you, Shaman," Elijah said, feeling a little self-conscious, but still deeply meaning the words.

With that, she gave them another smile and left them alone.

"Alone at last!" Sean said.

Elijah took his hand and, though feeling shy for some reason, pulled him toward the bedroom. Sean seemed to catch his mood, because neither of them spoke a word on their way. Once in the bedroom they simply lay down on the bed, the feverish intensity gone now in favor of a need to quietly reconnect.

Sean lay on his side and cuddled up close behind Elijah, his arms tightly holding him, one around his shoulder, and one around his stomach. One of his hands lay over Elijah's heart.

Once again, Elijah was inundated with a sense of security, as if nothing would get through Sean, that Sean was his bulwark standing between him and the rest of the world.

"Elijah?" Sean asked softly, his breath on Elijah's ear making him shiver.

"Yeah?"

"I need to ask you a couple of questions, okay? And I don't want you to get offended. I just need to know some stuff."

"Okay," Elijah said, mystified.

Sean seemed hesitant to start, but finally he said, "I can tell that you haven't had a lot of experience with sex."

Elijah started nervously at that, but Sean just held him tightly. "I love you, all of you, everything about you. Go from there, Elijah. Relax into that."

Blowing out a long breath, Elijah did relax. "Okay. Sorry. And you're right."

"Are you a virgin?"

"To some things," Elijah admitted. "But not everything."

"Is there anything you don't want to do?"

Elijah half-turned in Sean's arms. "With you? I want to do everything. Anything."

Sean kissed him briefly. "One more question. I also know, although I don't know the particulars, but I could pick up the sense of it, that you had a difficult childhood. Did anyone force you to do anything?"

Elijah thought about it for a moment, and he could feel Sean's arms tighten even more. Quickly, wanting to reassure, he said, "No, not like that. I wasn't raped or anything. I guess, I just, sometimes I said yes when I wanted to say no. Or I said yes for the wrong reason, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that."

"But now it will always be yes," Elijah said, promising Sean in his heart. "Always."

"Me, too."

Elijah sat up, suddenly, crossing his legs, his knees touching Sean's chest. "Sean. I'm…there's a part of me that gave up, you know? I've always been needy, I guess, although I hate that word, but I always wanted so much from anyone I was with, like there was supposed to be so much more than I was getting, but it was never there. It was always complicated and sometimes mean-spirited, like being in a relationship gave the other person even more of a right to treat you like shit."

Sean laid a comforting hand on his knee, not interrupting, gazing at him with non-judgmental eyes.

"But there's a part of me that needs so much, and maybe needs too much, because they always left me, saying I wanted too much. I'm afraid that might happen with you. That I might use you up, need you too much."

"Lay back down with me," Sean said, assuming their previous position. "First of all, you were trying to be in relationships with humans when you're a cat. And what you were looking for, waiting for, was a relationship with a cat. I can meet your needs, Elijah, because I'll understand them. And you'll do the same for me. That fear, that want, that sense of loss due to too many people finding you wanting, it will fade until it's all gone. Until it fills back up with knowing that I love you, and want you, and need you just as much as you need me."

Elijah turned around again and looked intently at Sean, taking in his curly brown hair, and beautiful kind green eyes, and the laugh lines at the side of each of his eyes, his perfect nose, and those extra perfect lips, with the lovely dip on the top, and the plumper bottom lip that Elijah just had to take a bite of with his teeth, so he did.

Sean groaned, and he lay on his back, pulling Elijah on top of him, one hand fisted in Elijah's hair, making sure Elijah wasn't going anywhere, and the other hand swept down his back, stopping just short of his ass. Elijah wasn't sure if Sean felt like he had to be careful with him, or if he was allowing him to set the pace, but Elijah wasn't having any of it. "Put your hand on my ass."

Huffing out a laugh, Sean did as commanded. "Don't have to tell me twice." His hand cupped one buttock, squeezing, and Elijah moaned at the sensation. All he wanted was for Sean's touch to strip away any memories of anyone else.

This kiss was like the last one, so it hadn't been a fluke, and they traded off discovering each other's mouths, taking a detour to taste a jaw line, or an ear lobe, and all the while, Elijah could hear in his mind all the embarrassingly flattering superlatives Sean was thinking in his mind about how miraculous it felt to be touching Elijah. Elijah tried to project the same thing back at Sean, and something seemed to click between them, as if the love they shared blanketed them, as tangible as the actual covers on the bed.

This, Elijah thought wildly, this was what he'd been waiting for, and oh, oh, it was so worth the wait. Everything in his life had been worth the wait.

They slowly undressed each other and Sean, and there was no other word for it, worshipped every inch of Elijah's skin. He'd always felt insecure in bed before, for any number of reasons, but with Sean he felt like he could be a high-paid fashion model. It was mind-boggling, the difference of getting naked with Sean versus getting naked with anyone else.

When they were naked and, at his urging, Sean lay on top of Elijah, the feel of all that skin pressing against his made Elijah lightheaded. He wouldn't have guessed he was that skin-hungry, but he drank it in, that sensation alone, like a thirsty man coming out of a desert.

"I think I could come just from my skin touching you," Sean said, so much better at saying the words than Elijah was.

Elijah agreed, but he wanted more, and he swept his hands down Sean's back until it was his turn to get a handful of Sean's muscled ass, feeling the muscles bunch under his fingers in response, resulting in Sean groaning in his ear.

"Really," Sean said, a hysterical edge in his voice. "I am so close." He rolled off of Elijah, ignoring Elijah's complaints at the loss of him. "Just give me a second."

Taking that second greedily, Elijah used it to stare at Sean. At his lover. His mate. His everything. His eyes made their way down his strong chest and ended at the man's cock, which was big for his size. Nice and big, delicious looking in fact, and that requested second was over and done with so he leant down and took Sean in his mouth.

The cry that came out of Sean's mouth sounded half like an angry cat and Elijah snickered around the hard length of him.

"This is going to take, ah," Sean moaned, his back arcing off the bed, pushing himself into Elijah's mouth. Elijah tried to take it all, wanting it all, and he rolled Sean's balls in his hand, and that was all it took. With a strangled cry Sean came, jetting warm and salty into Elijah's mouth. Elijah had only given one blow job before this, so he'd be the first to recognize that he didn't have a vast repertoire to pull from, but there was no doubt in his mind that Sean tasted better than anyone.

"Yum," Elijah said, licking at the tip of Sean's cock, making sure he didn't miss anything.

Sean flinched in response, a sharp laugh slipping out, "Jesus." He made grabby hands at Elijah, and Elijah was happy to comply, letting Sean pull him up close to hold him and kiss him. "That was perfect. Too fast on my part, but perfect," he hummed at Elijah. "Perfect. Perfect. Perfect." His eyes closed and Elijah smiled, thinking he was drifting off to sleep, glad for the opportunity to stare at him some more.

But then Elijah found himself flat on his back with Sean staring down at him, a leer on his face. "Now I have you in my clutches," he said with a mock villain's voice.

"Oh, no!" Elijah responded in a fake helpless heroine's tone. "Whatever will I do?" His voice went much deeper and slid into a groan when Sean sucked at one of his nipples, his fingers playing with the other. How could Sean's touches be so different? That talented mouth was moving lower, licking at his stomach, making it quiver, and then nosing at his groin. Elijah opened his legs in invitation for anything Sean might want to do.

"The best thing about cats," Sean murmured as he licked at Elijah's balls, "is that everything, and I mean everything, about their mate smells like the best thing ever." He ran his hands down Elijah's legs until he had a good grip on his thighs. He lifted them to Sean's shoulder, then cupped Elijah's ass in his hands to give him access to his hole, running his tongue over it, licking to the sides of it, then prodding at the opening with little nips and small thrusts of his tongue.

Elijah's eyes rolled to the back of his head, and it was like he was having a religious experience with choirs of angels singing and bright white light all around him. Sean stroked his cock, while his tongue breached inside of him, and Elijah let out a groan as he came, feeling as if it started at his head and toes simultaneously and then shot out his cock.

Sean set him back down, now licking at his cock and belly, tasting Elijah's come. "That was…" Elijah had to stop for a breath and he pulled it in with small hitches, "oh my God," he finished, having said nothing, but hopefully communicating nonetheless.

By the smug smile on Sean's face, Elijah guessed he'd gotten his message across. He padded to the bathroom and Elijah heard the water running, and then Sean returned with a washcloth. He rinsed Elijah's belly off, and then ran the cloth over his cock, balls and his ass crack, and it was a measurement of his trust in Sean that Elijah wasn't embarrassed at all. It was like his body was just as much Sean's as his.

Sean went back to the bathroom and it sounded like he was washing himself off, and then he was crawling back into bed, and wrapping his arms tightly around Elijah, and the two of them, with smiles on their faces and the occasional gentle kiss, surrendered to sleep.

*****

Elijah would have sworn he was fast asleep but, under his hand, he felt Sean shift from human to cougar. Wide awake now, he jerked up to a sitting position. "What is it?"

"Shh," Sean said in his head. "Someone's in the house."

"Maybe it's Billy," Elijah whispered.

"No, he would have called out to us."

Sean's body grew taut where Elijah's hand still rested on him, every muscle bunching as if he was about to leap on prey. "Sean?" Elijah's heart began to pound; Sean's clearly defensive position, and whatever it was in the house he was responding to, made that primal lizard brain in Elijah's head tense up in fear.

"It's Robert." Sean snarled, and the sound of it, so threatening, caused a visceral response in Elijah and he could feel his own cat prowling inside his head, his body. He wasn't sure if he should change or not, thinking that opposable thumbs might come in handy right now. He'd never, ever, thought about owning a hand gun, but he sort of wished he had one right now.

The door pushed open and a black shadow came into the room. Sean was on his paws, growling, canines making a frightening appearance as his lips drew back in a snarl. Elijah fumbled for the light switch, wanting to know what they were dealing with.

 

"Jesus," he wheezed, freezing, like a literal deer in headlights, as a huge black panther stalked toward them

Sean pushed in front of Elijah. "Stay back!" he warned Robert so loudly Elijah could hear it in his own head.

Even Elijah could tell that there would be no reasoning with this cat. All he saw in the fierce yellow eyes was fury. He could feel Sean's muscles tense for a leap, and Elijah searched the room desperately for something he could use as a weapon. There had to be a better answer than Sean and Robert fighting it out. Sean could get hurt. Sean could get killed! And Robert would come after Elijah, and Elijah had nothing, nothing, no way to defend himself against such a killing machine.

He shifted to his ocelot form. At least this way he had pointy teeth and sharp claws. He could scratch Robert as he fought against Sean. Lash in and out before those huge paws could tumble him away.

"Robert," Sean tried. "We don't need to do this." He jumped off the bed to face Robert at his level. "Don't do this. I won't let you do this. I won't let you hurt him."

Robert laughed, the mental sound enraged, and the anger felt sharp in Elijah's head, scraping along his nerves, making his temples pound. "I'm not here to hurt him," Robert said. "I'm here to take you away from him." His eyes flickered to Elijah and back to Sean. "And I don't think your little ocelot here can stop me."

"Are you expecting me to just lie down and let you take off with me?" Sean asked with derision.

"And I won't let you take him," Elijah cried, knowing, somehow, how to speak to them both at the same time, and leaping off the bed to stand next to Sean.

The panther shifted into a human, a tall bulky human. "You won't have the chance to stop me," he said, and he shot both Sean and Elijah with some sort of tranquilizer dart. Sean leapt at him with an ear-splitting snarl and Robert braced himself against the weight of Sean, ignoring the damage of a fast swipe of Sean's claws.

Elijah fought against the agent as best he could but it was knocking him out at the knees, and he was on his side before he could take a step.

"I hope you had a good time tonight," Robert told him, "because it's the last time you'll have him. Ever."

"No!" he screamed in his mind, as Sean, also, fell to the floor crawling, not to Robert, but towards Elijah. "Sean!" was all he managed before unconsciousness enveloped him in insidious darkness and pulled him down into it.

*****

"Ugh," Elijah said, then immediately regretted it, as the tympani already playing in his head turned into deep bass drums, reverberating until he thought he might throw up in response. What the fuck had happened?

It took a while for him to realize he was lying on the floor and that he was in his cat form. Effortlessly, he changed back to human. The pain was instantly cut in half, and he lay there, simply breathing for a moment, the partial cessation of misery stunning.

He reached out for Sean and, with that slight movement, memories engulfed him, and he leapt up staring wildly around. "Sean? Sean?" The sight of the dart on the floor filled him with dread. Elijah ran through the house, not wanting to believe that Sean was gone, that Robert had taken him. Sean would have been helpless to stop Robert. Would he kill him? Rape him? Put him in a cage somewhere? Sell him to another zoo where Elijah would never find him? Jesus, each thought was like a sharp dagger to his heart.

He stood in his living room, his chest heaving with panicked and labored breathing, he felt clammy all over, and he really was going to throw up now, in fact he barely made it to the bathroom before he was losing what was left of dinner.

Elijah flushed the toilet and sat on the floor, his forehead on the lip of the toilet seat. "Fuck. Fuck. Pull it together. Jesus. Pull it together." He couldn't think. He fucking couldn't think, all the worse case scenarios immobilizing him, playing out in his mind like the worst sort of slasher film. He was shaking so hard his teeth were rattling.

Adrenalin. He knew it could make you stupid, make your body fall to pieces, but he'd never experienced it for himself. But now he understood it, now he understood what he meant when he did this to his characters. "Fuck." Okay. Okay. He drew in a deep breath. Wasting time. Time was important, and he was wasting it having a fucking meltdown. Every second meant more time Sean was in Robert's hands.

He drew in another deep breath, closing his eyes, forcing his mind to be still, or attempt to be still. Elijah pulled up images that calmed him, found himself thinking of Sean's affectionate green eyes, his hands touching Elijah, and that wasn't helping. Not at all. He threw up again, nothing but bile this time, and then spit in the toilet to clear his mouth and throat before flushing the toilet one more time.

Growing angry with himself, Elijah pushed away from the toilet and stood to rinse his mouth out. Some mate you are, he chastised himself. He needs you. Get your fucking act together.

His breathing finally slowed and his stomach stopped doing somersaults. What did he know? Honestly? Nothing. No, Elijah refused to believe that. He went back into the bedroom and shifted into his cat. His headache returned with a vengeance but he ignored it. The smells were so much richer this way, and he could almost see them laid out before him like different colors on a rug. Robert had dragged Sean out of the room, Elijah thought angrily. Like a fucking sack of potatoes. He followed Sean's scent to the back door.

Once outside it was harder. The odors out here were overpowering, filled with every creature who roamed this area, scents laid over scents. But it was Sean he was looking for, and he refused to relinquish the olfactory hold he had on his mate. His persistence paid off, and he found the trail, following it through his back yard into his neighbor's. Glad it was still night, and wishing he'd bothered to note the time--he came to a stop. He needed to know what time it was.

Elijah bounded back to the house and realized the door had shut behind him. After a quick glance around, he shifted back to himself and opened the door. Thank God it hadn't locked. Once inside he glanced at the clock and blinked, letting the time slowly sink in as he attempted to figure out the truth of it. Either he'd been out for well over twenty four hours, or he and Sean had only been sleeping a few minutes before Robert had shown up, minutes at best, and whatever sedative he'd used hadn't been very long lasting. He grabbed his phone to check the date, hope springing up as he saw it was still the same day.

This time Elijah got dressed before racing outside, his phone in his pocket as well as a sharp pair of scissors, the only thing even resembling a weapon in his house, at least on short notice.

He changed back into a cat, marveling at where the phone and scissors went, not to mention his clothes, but then he was back on the hunt. They were now three yards over, and Elijah, again, thanked the darkness and the cover of night as he raced after the two. When Sean's scent vanished, Elijah stopped abruptly, sniffing the ground, not understanding. He glanced up, cringing, half expecting Robert to leap down on him, but he saw nothing there.

He took a few cautious steps forward and found he could still smell Robert, and he wrinkled his nose, snarling at the smell. Had he lifted Sean at this point, was he carrying him? Wary, suddenly, wondering if it was a trap, if he'd dragged Sean to make the trail easy for Elijah, he backed off, moving behind a tree, staying silent and frozen, using his new senses to paint a picture of the surroundings for him.

It dawned on him that it was too noisy for Robert to still be around. He could hear mice and other rodents scurrying around, frogs croaking; the night was full of normal, busy noises. Elijah wasn't big enough to put the locals on edge, but Robert and Sean would have been. Nature knows a predator.

But what was Robert doing? Elijah's fear was that the track would lead to a car and Sean would be lost. In fact, he'd initially expected the trail to take him to his driveway and end there. Did Robert expect that the tranquilizer would work longer on Elijah? The dart hadn't been in his skin when he shifted, so maybe it had only grazed him before falling off. Maybe…Elijah snorted at himself…he was making shit up because he had no answers.

As he had no other choice, he continued to follow Robert's scent. Elijah could still smell Sean, just not as strongly, so he decided that Robert was carrying Sean. He'd been a big man, obviously one big enough to throw a 200 pound cat over his shoulder. Elijah wouldn't have a chance against him in either form. Why hadn't he thought to get Kathryn's number? Stupid, stupid. He thought about calling Billy, but didn't want to take the time to meet him somewhere.

Nose to the ground, ears alert to any danger, Elijah kept moving, trying to figure out what Robert was doing, where he was going. Did he have a house here? Elijah mentally reviewed the neighborhood, trying to remember if any of the houses were up for rent before dismissing the idea as ridiculous. Robert couldn’t have known Sean would end up here in time to actually make arrangements for housing.

Elijah heard talking and slowed down, trying to pinpoint where the speakers were, so as to avoid them. That was when it hit him. It was Sean! Sean was talking. Proud of himself that he thought to stay downwind as he circled closer, he got as close as he dared and listened. Robert and Sean were standing in the middle of the neighborhood park.

"Robert, I don't know what you're planning, but just stop. You have to know you need help. You have to know this won't work. I won't be your mate. I can't be your mate. Even if something happened to Elijah, even if I'd never met him, I could never trust you that way after this. Let me help you get help. Once you're healed, you'll see that-"

Sean's words were cut off by a sound of a fist hitting flesh, and Sean grunted in pain. Forcing himself not to just rush in without a plan, Elijah considered the tree in front of him with a huge spreading canopy of branches and leaves.

"I know what I need," Robert snarled. "And I know what you need. You'll forget him."

"No," Sean said, his voice determined but growing angry. "Never."

Elijah quietly leapt to the lowest branch, taking a moment to appreciate how amazing it was to be able to climb this way. Then he slowly and silently moved from branch to branch until he was directly over them, about fifteen feet up. His eyes roved over Sean, making sure he wasn't too badly hurt. His lip was split, probably from the punch he'd heard being thrown, but that was all he could see. Robert was more badly hurt, having caught the brunt of Sean's leap when he'd gone after Robert before the sedative took him down. Robert had claw rakes on his arm and cheek, both still bleeding. He still had the tranquilizer gun; it was tucked into his waist band.

"Do you even have a plan?" Sean asked. "What are you doing? Unless you have more of those drugs you gave me before, what can you do to me? And are you that desperate for me that you'd keep me as a cat forever?"

Elijah didn't think Sean should be giving Robert any ideas.

"I just had to get you away from that other one. He's not right for you. You must know that now that you've slept with him. He's not enough for you. He'll never be enough for you. You'll see. Just come with me. Come with me, Sean. We were close once. Before I mated with Jenny, you were interested. I know you were. You used to come over all the time."

"To hang out, Robert. You were never…" Sean stopped whatever he'd been about to say. "Maybe you're right," he said slowly, as if considering. "I did come over a lot. I was, I can admit it, I was drawn to you."

Elijah's heart clutched in his chest at Sean's words, but then he realized that Sean was just playing along. He wished he could let Sean know he was there, but even though he thought he could do it, he was afraid to trust that his mental voice was disciplined enough to only communicate with Sean and not to Robert as well. The price was just too high if he was wrong.

Robert narrowed his eyes. "Really?"

For an instant, Elijah felt sorry for Robert. He was so lost in himself he couldn't see false from true.

Sean hesitated a moment too long, and Elijah guessed lying didn't come easily to him.

"You're lying to me," Robert hissed. "Why are you lying? Why can't you see the truth?"

Sean took a step backward and stumbled a little, not quite steady on his feet. "Robert. Please let me help you. How can I help you? You have so many people who care for you. Let me take you to your Shaman and we can talk together, all of us. We can help you see your way again. Surely you can remember that violence isn't the answer. It's never the answer."

"Sometimes violence is the only answer," Robert said slowly, as he brandished a deadly serrated knife. "Sometimes people learn no other way."

Elijah didn't like the sound of that or the look of that knife. Where the hell had he been hiding it? It was like Robert had conjured it out of nowhere.

"I think I may have to go kill your ocelot. I think maybe you won't understand unless you're grieving too."

Sean moved until he was standing between Robert and Elijah's home. "You'll have to kill me first."

Robert withdrew the tranquilizer gun. "No, I can just put you back to sleep. And while you're sleeping, I can make sure you end up having no one but me." He tightened his lips as if well aware of how much this would hurt Sean. "Trust me, Sean. You'll understand then, really, you will. Violence bonds people. You'll hurt like me, and then we can heal together."

"That's not how it works," Sean said and then, quick as lightening, he switched to a cougar and attacked, going right for the arm that held the tranquilizer gun, his teeth clamping shut.

Robert let out a scream and dropped the gun. Sean managed to kick it away with a well-aimed hind paw. Robert lunged at him with the knife, and Elijah heard the sickening sound of the blade sinking into flesh.

This time it was Elijah who cried out, his snarl vicious despite his small size. He dropped out of the tree, switched back to human, picked up the gun and shot Robert twice.

Eyes disbelieving, as if not able to comprehend how his plan hadn't work, Robert stared at Elijah as he staggered a few steps before thumping down on his knees, and then flat on his face.

Elijah ran to Sean. "Sean! Sean!" Terrified of what he would find, he almost whimpered with relief as Sean turned back into a human. Not dead, thank God, not dead.

He did, however, have a knife sticking out of his arm. Sean yanked it out and slapped a hand over the wound. Elijah pulled his shirt off, using the scissors to cut off a strip to wrap around Sean's arm. He held it tightly for a while, then let go, anxiously, hoping blood wouldn't gush out. But, thankfully, the pressure seemed to be working, as it was only sluggishly seeping when Elijah let go. He put his hands back around Sean's arm.

"You," Sean said, admiration in his eyes, "are awesome."

"We," Elijah corrected him, "are awesome."

"I didn't even know you were up there! You were so sneaky!"

Elijah grinned at him. "What should we do with him?" He motioned at Robert with his chin. "And hey, you're naked!"

Sean looked down at himself. "Great." He moved to Robert and yanked his coat off, putting it on. It didn't cover much, barely covering his butt, but it was better than nothing. Then he took off Robert's belt and tied his hands together behind him. "Do you have your phone?"

Elijah produced his phone. "Phone and scissors. I came prepared."

"Yes, you did," Sean said. "You saved my life."

"You looked like you were doing a pretty good job at it yourself. Besides you were willing to die to protect me."

Sean took a moment to kiss Elijah hard, then clasped him behind his neck to let their foreheads rest against each other. "Jesus, that was too close." Then he used Elijah's phone. "Kathryn. I have Robert. He tried to kill us."

Elijah could hear Kathryn's unhappy tones on the other side of the conversation. While Sean talked, Elijah cut more strips and tied Robert's feet together, and then gagged him for good measure. Then he tied his hands again, over the belt. Then, because he'd seen it on TV, he used another strip to connect his tied hands and feet together, hogtying him.

"You done?" Sean asked him, sounding amused.

"He has tried to kill you too many times," Elijah said firmly. "No way he gets another crack at you. No way."

"How do you propose we get him back to the house?"

"You go back, get some clothes on, and then bring Kathryn and whomever here. They can take him away." He pointed to his right. "There's a street right there; they can bring a car around."

"I'm not leaving you here alone with him," Sean protested.

Elijah pointed at Robert. "He's not moving anywhere, unless he can turn into the Hulk."

"He can turn into a cat and slip out of most of those knots," Sean pointed out. "Or tear them with his teeth. It's temporary at best."

"Oh." Deflated, Elijah frowned. "How long do you think he'll be out? Whatever is in that drug isn't very long acting. Although I did shoot him twice."

Sean kissed him again. "Like a regular crackshot. Where'd you learn to shoot like that?"

"For one of my books," Elijah said. "I needed to understand guns better so I went to a shooting range and paid for some instruction. In fact, speaking of that…" He moved to where Sean had kicked the tranquilizer gun and quickly dismantled it into its component parts, throwing the pieces in several directions. More than anything, he didn't want Robert to have any opportunity to get the gun back and shoot them. There were only two darts left and he dug a hole and buried them. "I'll come back for them later." Then, feeling like a crime fighter, he checked Robert's pockets, pulling out another knife which he also threw away. "Now if he wakes up, we'll all be equal, just claws and teeth."

"I want you so much right now," Sean said. "That was so hot."

Arousal swept through Elijah. He took an unsteady step toward Sean, all the blood flow heading abruptly south making him lightheaded.

A snarl rent the night and at first Elijah thought it was Sean, but at the dismayed look on Sean's face, he changed that opinion immediately, and all his attention moved to Robert who was awake and shifting to his panther. Sean was part right in that several of the knots slid right off, including the one that tied his feet and hands together. He started ripping at the others, including the belt, with his very sharp teeth, and considering panthers could take down and eat a sizeable animal, Elijah didn't think it would take too long.

"Still think it's hot I took the gun apart? I bet you were wishing we had it right now." Robert had shaken off those two shots like they were nothing.

"Still think it's hot, and I totally wish we had it right now," Sean said, now side by side with Elijah.

Scissors in hand, Elijah wondered if he could purposely stab someone with them. The sensible thing would be to dart in right now and disable Robert with a quick slash across something, like, well, his throat. Elijah swallowed down bile at the thought.

Next to him Sean shifted to his cougar and leapt on Robert, going for his throat.

Apparently Sean wasn't as squeamish as Elijah, which was a good thing because Robert was free and doing his best to disembowel Sean with his hind feet, his teeth doing their best to clamp onto Sean's throat.

And here, again, was Elijah, doing nothing, as he watched his mate fight to the death. What was wrong with him? He closed his fingers tightly on his scissors and moved closer, then jabbed them into the end of Robert's tail.

Robert let out a pained squeal and was on Elijah in the time it took Elijah's heart to lurch sideways in his chest in fear. The panther's deadly set of very sharp teeth were millimeters from his throat when Sean slammed into Robert, knocking him to the ground, onto his side.

"Holy fuck!" Elijah said, trying to draw a breath in over his panic, which was doing its best to paralyze him again. His scissors were gone, whipped out of his hand when Robert had spun around. Elijah circled the two fighting, snarling, blur of cats in front of him, black and brown, fighting for dominance, and tried to find a good time to do something. Grab a tail, leap on top of Robert, but every time he was about to move, they'd change positions and he'd find himself frantically pulling back to avoid hitting Sean.

From out of the darkness, two more blurs came, one spotted, one striped, and they bowled into both cats, but then, clearly, and to Elijah's eternal gratitude, turned on Robert.

Elijah supported Sean as he limped away from the fight, leaving it in the others' hands, or paws. Elijah let out a short snicker, even though nothing about this was funny. "Is that Kathryn and Daniel?" he asked Sean.

He got a mental assent and then Sean pitched down to the ground, landing on this side.

"Jesus, are you all right?" Elijah wished he had a flashlight so he could see how badly Sean was hurt. There were several areas where dark splotches of blood stained his lighter colored fur, but he had no way of knowing if it was Sean's or Robert's blood, and he didn't want to start poking his fingers around and making it worse. "Just tell me you're all right. You're not bleeding out or anything, right?"

"I'm okay," Sean said wearily.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Elijah had to hold onto that, despite the weariness and pain in Sean's tone. He glanced over his shoulder at the fight. Daniel had his teeth wrapped around Robert's neck, and Robert was holding very still. Kathryn had her feline face nose to nose with Robert, and Elijah had the sense that a very intense conversation was going on.

Robert seemed to collapse as if all his marionette strings were cut at the same time, and he lay on his side panting. Kathryn shifted back to her human form, keeping one hand on Robert's side, Daniel keeping a very close watch.

"Elijah," Kathryn said. "You and Sean go back to the house. We'll take it from here."

"You sure?"

"Yes," she said with a smile. "I have reached the heart of him, and he will come with us peacefully, and then we can begin his healing."

He didn't want to doubt Kathryn, but that seemed too easy. "Um, he did try to kill us. Sean a couple of times."

"I know. And you both will have healing of your own to do, both of the body and of the heart, and that includes finding a way to forgive Robert for what he did. He is not in his right mind."

"But he's right enough to go with you? He won't come after us again?"

"He will not," Kathryn promised. "Daniel and I will not leave him, nor allow him the opportunity to get so lost again."

"Just that easy? He could have killed Sean," Elijah pushed, but it seemed like it would all get brushed away like it was nothing, and it hadn't been nothing. If Robert had killed Sean, Elijah didn't know what he'd do, but it had nothing to do with pretending it didn't happen.

"The work of forgiveness is not easy, but it is the only way to be healed," Kathryn said gently yet very firmly. "I rejoice that he did not fatally wound Sean or you, as will Robert when he recovers. Robert's work to forgive himself will be mightier than yours."

Elijah had a feeling that he'd be training his brain to think a whole new way if he was going to hang out with cats. "I'll try, but it seems a little impossible right now."

"Trying is all I ask of you right now. Just wishing for the ability to try will be enough; the power of that wishing will start to seep into you. Now see to Sean. There's a healer at your house waiting to look at him. When he's done, please send him out here."

Nodding, Elijah turned back to Sean who was still lying down, but was licking at one paw, cleaning the blood off.

Gross.

Sean sent him a look that elicited a grin out of Elijah. "Cat. I get it. Let's go. Can you walk? Because I sure can't carry you."

In answer, Sean lumbered to his paws, saying, loud and plaintively, "Ow."

"Big baby," Elijah said, even as he hurried next to Sean and bent down to press his forehead to the cat's, his nose twitching as Sean's whiskers tickled him. "I love you."

"Hmm, I love you."

The two of them managed to stumble their way home, Elijah holding more of Sean's weight than he really could, a couple of times almost landing on his ass, until Sean pulled away a little, giving him his balance back. A man was standing at the back porch, looking worried until he saw Sean. "Oh, Sean, you're all right, thank goodness." He strode toward them, then smiled at Elijah. "And you must be Elijah. I'm David."

"David, nice to meet you. Are you the healer?"

"I am. Kathryn and Daniel?"

"Fine. And so is Robert, at least that's what Kathryn tells me."

"Oh, thank goodness," he said again. He strode back to the house, throwing open the door. Elijah didn't think he'd ever had this much traffic in his house. It was sort of nice.

Both Elijah and David helped Sean up the few steps until he got into the kitchen. Then he sank to the floor.

"Sean, get someplace more comfortable before you stop," Elijah told him. "This floor is too hard and cold."

"I don't want to get bloodstains anywhere," Sean said stubbornly. "Besides, it feels good." He lay his face down on the tile. "Nice and cool."

Elijah rolled his eyes at the thought that he'd begrudge Sean a few bloodstains anywhere in his house, but Sean looked comfortable enough.

"I'll get my kit," David said.

Seizing the moment, Elijah got down on the floor and wrapped his arms gingerly around Sean. "That was so horrible." He heard a noise and realized it was Sean chuffing in his ear. "What's so funny?" he asked, annoyed. None of that had been funny.

"You, dropping out of thin air like James Bond, and then with the gun, and then stabbing him with scissors? Oh, my God, you're like a ninja! You totally saved my life!"

Elijah felt himself redden even as he was thrilled by Sean's words.

David chose that moment to come in. "So, Elijah's a real hero, is he?"

"You heard that?" Elijah squeaked.

David grinned. "Sean wanted me to."

"He saved my life, too," Elijah insisted. "Twice he stood in front of me and fought to protect me."

David was beaming now. "I can't wait to hear the whole story. I love stories like this when they have happy endings." He knelt on the floor by Sean, and began running his fingers across his fur, probing for wounds and damaged muscle.

"It's my other side, I think," Sean said drowsily.

"Then roll over," Elijah snapped. He put his hands on Sean's flank to prod him over.

Sean complied with his request, and Elijah let out a gasp. "God, Sean!" There were three vicious looking gashes running from his left back haunch down his leg. This was the side he'd been stabbed in as well; blood was still slowly seeping from his front left leg.

"He was doing the right thing," David consoled Elijah. "It put pressure where he needed it most."

And, to prove his point, none of the wounds were bleeding badly.

"Let's see to those gashes first," David instructed.

Elijah lay down on the floor next to Sean, pressing his cheek to Sean's furry one. "I was so afraid."

"So was I," Sean admitted. "You were so brave."

"So were you." He felt Sean stiffen in response to something David was doing, and Elijah wished Sean were in his human form so he could hold his hand.

"You can hold my paw if you want," Sean teased him. "It feels better now. That was just the sting of the local."

Sean's body had relaxed a little, so Elijah chose to believe him. He shifted into his ocelot and was able to cuddle in much closer like that. He licked at some smaller wounds on the leg closest to him. He could feel Sean's pleasure at his attentions.

"Okay," David said, "I've got those stitched up. Let's look at your other leg."

Sean grunted when David used more local, and Elijah nuzzled at him. When Sean put a heavy paw around him, something in him that had been wound tight since they'd woken up however long ago with the sense of danger permeating the air, eased. Always, always, he wanted Sean next to him. Just the thought of losing him made him tense up again.

"It's okay," Sean said, nosing him, then licking his ear. "We're fine."

Right. Fine. Elijah understood that rationally, but he expected he'd be having nightmares about this for a while.

"Just a couple more stitches," David informed him.

"Okay," Sean said, stoically.

Elijah licked his face, trying to distract him. "Can you shift after this? Or do you need to stay as a cat for a while?"

"I'll heal faster as a cat," Sean told him. "I should stay like this until morning."

"Do you need to eat something? I'm all out of raw hamburger."

Elijah could feel Sean's amused response. "Nah, I'm good. I'm mostly just exhausted. Did we sleep at all?"

"Just a few minutes," Elijah said.

He watched as David readied a syringe. "Sean, here's something to help with the pain once the local wears off." He gave Sean a shot, and then patted him on his neck. "I'm glad you're all right. Really glad." He grabbed his ruff and shook him a little. Then he took a moment and scratched Elijah around the ears.

Ooh, that felt really good, Elijah thought.

David grinned. "Sorry for the lack of formality, but I feel like you're a member of the family already, and you did save my little brother."

Elijah shifted back to human. "You're his brother?" he asked, delighted. "It's really nice to meet you." As Sean laid his head in his lap, he carded his fingers through the ruff of Sean's neck, soothing the fur where David had mussed it. "We should probably get you off to bed, Sean, before you fall asleep."

"I'm comfortable," Sean whined.

"You'll be more comfortable in bed. Get up."

"He's so bossy," Sean told David and Elijah. Elijah wasn't sure how he knew Sean was speaking to them both, but he did.

"You need someone bossy, little bro," David said, stabilizing Sean with his knee as he forced himself up to his paws. "There's a gathering Saturday night. You should be healed up enough to make it there."

"A gathering?" Elijah prompted, while he tried not to snicker at Sean's drunken weaving even with Elijah on one side and David on the other. Once they got to the bedroom, Sean looked up at the height of the bed and sighed.

"Not in the mood for leaping?" David asked him, his hand tenderly resting on Sean's brow. "I can try to lift you."

"Wait," Elijah said, and he went and got his step stool with its broad steps and brought it into the bedroom. "Will that help?"

"Genius," Sean thought at him. Then, with David and Elijah's assistance steadying him, Sean made his way up the three steps and onto the bed. "Get a towel, Elijah. I don't want to get the sheets bloody."

"Forget the sheets. I'll buy new ones."

Sean just stood there and stared at him.

"Oh, my God," Elijah snapped out, and he strode into the bathroom and came back out with a large fluffy bath towel. He laid it on the bed, patting out the folds, and gestured at Sean. "Better?"

For answer, Sean crumpled onto it and started snoring.

"Is he always this stubborn?" Elijah asked David.

"If it's for your own good, yes," David said. "It's infuriating, but it's kind of hard to get too mad at him when he's doing it because he loves you."

"You don't have to sell him to me," Elijah said, kicking off his shoes and crawling into the other side of the bed. "I'm completely sold." He closed his eyes, but then forced them open. "Sorry, I'm being a sucky host. Do you need anything?"

"Yes. You both to get some sleep. I'll go check with Kathryn, and then I'm going to spend the night, just to make sure he's okay in the morning and to make sure you don't get any more uninvited guests." He put up a hand when Elijah's eyes widened in alarm. "Not that I'm expecting any. The point is you can relax because there's someone awake and on guard. Go to sleep."

"I’m thinking stubborn runs in the family," Elijah mumbled, even as he was glad to have David standing between them and everything else. "Help yourself to anything." He managed to get one hand on Sean's fur before he fell asleep.

*****

Elijah jerked awake, saw it was still dark, and closed his eyes in frustration. He was beginning to wonder if this night would ever end. Those nightmares he'd predicted were making frightening encore presentations, and Elijah thought maybe he should get up and go write or something.

"You okay?"

"No. I mean yes, I'm fine, but no, I can't sleep, and when I do sleep, all I see is Robert, and all the ways this night could have ended that didn't end up with you and me in bed together."

"Sorry I brought all of this to you," Sean said, butting at Elijah's shoulder.

"It's not like you did it on purpose. I know you well enough by now that if you'd thought he was following you, the last thing you would have done is bring him here."

"I still brought him."

"If having him brought to me was the price I paid for getting you, I'll pay it, even if it means I have an uncomfortable night or two."

"Change into your cat," Sean suggested. "Sometimes it helps give things a little distance."

Elijah shifted, felt a renewed sense of energy, but knew it wouldn't last. Cat or human, he was in need of sleep. "Thanks," he said, snuggling in next to Sean.

Sean licked his forehead and ears. "Go to sleep."

And Elijah did.

*****

The next time he woke up the sun was shining, and Elijah lay there gratefully.

"Rise and shine," David yelled from behind the door. "Sean, shift into human, and cover your privates. I need to check you out."

Elijah was happy staying as a cat and he watched Sean grumble but then shift, grabbing at the bedspread to cover his groin.

"Good morning," Sean said to him, pulling him close and cuddling him like a stuffed animal. Nice. Elijah rubbed his face all over Sean's chest; it was his turn to mark his territory.

David knocked but then barged right in. Elijah wondered if his life would be like this from now on; people coming and going, making his home their home. He sort of hoped so. Now that David was here, Elijah took a moment to look at Sean's injuries in human form. His stab wound appeared okay; in fact it looked almost healed. The longer gashes looked nastier, with three rows of several stitches each, but overall it looked as if he'd fought several days ago, and not just last night.

"These look good," David said. "Stay as your cat as much as you can over the next few days." He wiggled his eyebrows at both of them, "And no strenuous activity."

It felt weird to blush as a cat. It was like the feeling was there but without the physiological response.

"Yeah, right," Sean said to David, kissing Elijah between his ears. "That's gonna happen."

"Then at least figure out positions that don't strain your left leg and arm," David said with a laugh.

Elijah shifted back into a person, and he could feel his face was red. How was that fair? If he blushed as a cat, it should stay with the cat. "What happened to Robert?"

"They took him home last night and right now, I expect, he's with his Shaman and his family, and they'll help heal him. I imagine in a month or so, he'll be coming around to do some heavy apologizing."

"How do you know?" Elijah asked. "I mean, some people just snap and they can't be put back together again. How do we know he won't come after Sean again?"

"We don't," Sean said, covering himself properly with the bedspread, much to Elijah's regret. He'd been enjoying all the skin on show. "But his Shaman will. He'll know if Robert can be healed or not. And I trust him, him and Kathryn."

"And if he can't?"

Sean glanced at David, and then back at Elijah. "I don't know. I've never known of a cat that wasn't brought back to rights. He was grieving, Elijah. I can understand that a little. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"What I know you wouldn't do," Elijah said hotly, "is drug someone and lock them in a zoo, and when they got out, try to kill them and their mate. You would never, never, I don't care how hurt or angry or lost you are, ever do that shit. And the fact that he could, that he did, makes me think there was a screw loose even before he lost his mate. Sorry, but I can't help feeling that way."

"I don't know how to make this up to you," Sean told him.

"It's not you!" Elijah exclaimed. "God, you did nothing except try to keep your sanity intact and then take care of me. You have nothing to make up to me. Nothing."

David sat on the bottom of the bed. "Elijah, I know this is all new to you, and you have no reason to believe us when we say that Robert can be healed. There's something about the heart of a cat shifter, about their soul, that makes it so we can be brought back to ourselves, even if we've drifted into a really bad place. If Kathryn believes he can be healed, he can. And all I can ask of you, all any of us can ask of you, is to give it some time. And if you never want to deal with Robert again, you can ask that he stay away, and he will."

Elijah shook his head. "I don't understand. And I'm embarrassed I don't understand, but Sean, he tried to kill me, and it's like you care as much about what happens to him as to me. What if he'd killed you? What if he'd killed us both? Would he get patted on the back and be allowed to heal when all I've got is your dead body, or you," he said to David, "had to bury your brother?"

"If Robert had killed someone," David said, "we'd be having a different conversation. But he didn't."

"Only because we were lucky. A thousand things could have gone wrong last night. A split second could have made the difference the wrong way. Doesn't he have to be responsible for that? For almost killing us?"

"I was prepared to kill him last night," Sean said to Elijah, "make no mistake about it. I would have ripped him to pieces to protect you. But, thankfully, I didn't have to, and I'm glad I didn't have to. And I'm glad he can be healed, because Robert was a good cat, and a good friend, and I'd rather know he was healed than dead."

"So, that's it? He's healed, and it's like it never happened?"

"No, Elijah, no," Sean said. "It happened, and Robert will have to go to his clan and mine, and speak of it to the community. He'll have to confess what he did, and be willing to take whatever justice the clans choose to mete out. On very rare occasions, a cat is shunned. If the clan doesn't want to shun him, but the wronged doesn't want them around, they might get sent away to a different clan to live. But more often than not, the cat is given many months of community service to make up for their crime."

Elijah frowned.

"There will be many wise cats there and they will be able to read Robert's heart and know if he speaks true. When a cat speaks to the community, only truth can be spoken." Sean put his hand on Elijah's leg. "I know this all sounds ridiculous to you, and I can see it makes you angry at the thought that Robert will get little more than a slap on the wrist for making my life, our life, a living hell for a week, but please, don't give up on us, on me, because of this."

Elijah's jaw dropped. "I would never!"

Sean smiled at him in relief. "In time, you'll understand what the clan is like, what living in a community is like, how we care for one another, and want only the best for each other. The system we have, that we use, helps build community, and allows someone like Robert, who completely went nuts, to be accepted back into the community. We've just started bonding, Elijah. The depth of our connection will continue to grow until we'll feel each other's presence even when we're apart. To lose that? To lose even what I have with you now? I can't imagine."

"His clan holds some responsibility for what happened to Robert," David said. "He should never have been left alone long enough to lose his way. He should have been under the care of the Shaman and Healer as much as his mate was. His deteriorating mental status should have been picked up by a family member or others in his clan."

"It should have been picked up by me," Sean added. "And I will admit that to the community.

"Or by me," David said. "I will admit it also. The community failed Robert by not noticing how badly he was hurting."

Elijah was starting to get it. "Everyone's a part of the whole. Like you're an orchestra, and Robert's instrument went out of tune, but you all kept playing instead of stopping and letting him take a moment to retune."

"Yeah, Elijah," Sean said, cupping his cheek. "That's a beautiful way of saying it." He leaned in and kissed him, quickly, then again.

"But," Elijah said cautiously, "will someone be able to tell if his instrument is trashed, not just out of tune? He won't be able to fool them?"

"Yes, the elders will know," David said with conviction. "And now that we know how badly he was doing, we will all take responsibility and care for him."

"Because the orchestra plays better with him in it." Elijah was still struggling a little. "And if you'd had to kill him, Sean?"

"Then the orchestra would play different songs, mournful songs at first, for Robert and for me, but…" He stopped, scrunched up his face. "I'm lost in the metaphor now. Everyone dies, Elijah, sooner or later. Cats live a lot longer than normal humans, but we do die. And the way of the world is to grieve and move on. That's all you can do. Robert needs to grieve properly so he can move on. If he'd killed you and somehow survived, then I would be grieving for you, and he would grieve for me once he was healed." He sighed and looked at David, his hands out in a 'what else can I say' sort of gesture.

"I don't want to see him on Saturday," Elijah said. "I need more time."

"It would be too soon for him, anyway," David said, "but your request would be honored, and it would be part of Robert's healing work to accept that. To accept that he might never be forgiven. But," he added, "choosing not to forgive is a hard road, too."

"I'm not saying I can't, I'm just saying I can't yet. Right now the thought of seeing him again makes me want to throw up. But like Kathryn said, I'll start wishing I could think of forgiving him without wanting to throw up." Then, "Shit, Sean, we need to go back and get the gun parts. They're in the park where any kid could find them."

"I'll go," David offered.

"No, I should go," Elijah said. "I was the one that threw them around. You won't know where to look." He patted Sean on the knee. "Stay here until I get back, okay?"

"Go with him," Sean urged. "I don't want him by himself."

"And I don't want you here by yourself," Elijah countered.

"I'll go," David said. "I'll shift once I get there, and I'll be able to smell the parts."

"It's daytime," Elijah said. "That park could be filled with kids."

"It's daytime," David agreed, "but it's early."

Elijah capitulated, mostly because he didn't want to leave Sean's side. "There were five parts and two darts. Go out the back door-"

David interrupted him, tapping his own nose. "I can smell the trail." With that he got up and left the bedroom.

"He won't get caught, will he?"

"He'll be fine. He'll have the maneuverability of a cat but be able to think like a human. No one will see him, even someone standing right next to him."

Reassured, Elijah lay back down. "I'm sorry I'm so human."

Sean snorted out a laugh. "You'll be so good for the clan. We need to survive in this world, so getting a fresh perspective on humans is very helpful. And it also allows us to rejoice in being cats, watching you learn what it's all about."

"How is this happening to me?" Elijah still could hardly believe it. Less than a week ago, he had this house, Billy, a book contract, and a healthy bank account. Nothing to sneeze at, but he'd thought that was as good as it was going to get. But now? He shook his head in amazement.

"You're stealing my lines," Sean said, kissing him. "I'm going to shift back now. I need to heal so by the time David leaves I can have my wicked way with you."

"I like that plan," Elijah said. Sean shifted back, and Elijah kissed his cute pink nose. "It's so funny how your eyes reverse. Now they're golden with flecks of green, and when you're human, they're green with flecks of gold. Perfect either way."

Sean licked him from chin to temple.

"Yuck," Elijah said, wiping his face.

Chuffing, Sean rolled onto his back, belly exposed, legs splayed.

"Very dignified," Elijah pointed out.

"Shut up."

Elijah laughed, changed into his ocelot and laying his head on Sean's soft belly, closed his eyes to nap.

*****

Elijah woke up to the sound of voices and, after a quick look at Sean to make sure he was sleeping soundly, he leapt out of bed and padded out of the bedroom, using his rump to close the bedroom door.

When he got to the kitchen he found David and Billy chatting.

"There's our hero!" David greeted him.

"I heard you had a very exciting night," Billy told him. "I'm annoyed you didn't call me so I could join in on the fun."

Elijah shifted to human, glad he was still dressed, and said honestly, "I thought about it, but I couldn't wait for you, and at the time I had no idea where to tell you to meet me."

"You're okay, though?"

"Fine. I didn't even get a scratch. Sean was the one who got hurt keeping Robert away from me. He's the real hero."

"But you're the one with the scissor ninja skills." Billy made a complicated kung fu sort of move, his fingers moving and cutting like pairs of scissors.

"Quit it. It's not like I keep any real weapons in the house. And they were sharp. And," he added primly, "they did the job. Robert was getting a little too close to clawing open Sean's belly." He grimaced in remembrance. Thankfully, here in his sunny kitchen, with the smell of coffee and the company of his best friend and Sean's brother, he felt a little less crazed about the events of last night, but it still felt like a horrifying nightmare that refused to dispel.

Billy slapped him on the back. "You did a few crazy things to keep the ravening hordes off my back once or twice."

"So did you," Elijah agreed, and they exchanged a look of unhappy childhood memories shared and conquered. "We rock."

"Indeed we do," Billy said, tapping Elijah's coffee cup with his own. "Where is the other hero of the hour?"

"Sleeping soundly," Elijah said.

"Yeah, not so much. Too much celebrating going on out here," Sean said, entering the kitchen, wearing his pants and nothing else. The combination of his bare chest and bare feet made Elijah's stomach explode into butterflies.

"Did we wake you up?" Elijah asked, feeling guilty.

"No," Sean reassured him. "I just woke up and missed you." He kissed Elijah on the lips, let out a contented hum, and said, "Hey Billy. And David, thanks for staying."

David just shoved a cup of coffee at him, and Billy tapped his mug against Sean's. "Hail the conquering heroes."

Sean tapped his mug back and put his arm around Elijah. "My own ninja."

Elijah snorted. He knew well enough if it had been he taking on Robert, Elijah would be a smear of fur and blood on the grass at the park. There was no doubt in his mind which of them was the hero. But he knew Sean would argue so kept his mouth shut.

"Really, Billy," Sean said, "you should have seen him. From out of nowhere he comes flying through the air to practically land on Robert's head. He wrestles Robert's gun away and shoots him, twice." He kissed Elijah on the cheek twice as if in emphasis.

"He was about to shoot you and then come kill me," Elijah said. "What was I supposed to do?"

"If you hadn't shown up," Sean confided, "I would have had to kill him right then. I would have had no choice. So thanks for that, for keeping that from happening."

Elijah let out a disgusted sound. "Can we talk about something else? I want to pretend last night or," he clarified with a grin at Sean, "the horrible parts of last night, never happened."

"Woo hoo," Billy crowed. "Sounds like someone got lucky!"

"Yes, I did," Elijah said. "Very lucky." He leaned into Sean. "And looking forward to getting lucky again."

"And on that note, and with another warning to take it easy, I'm out of here." David shook a bottle with a few pills in it. "Some pain pills for you if you need them." He glanced at his watch, "I really do have to leave. My flight leaves in a couple of hours."

"Do you need a ride to the airport?" Billy asked.

"I'd love one, thanks," David said with a pleased smile. "I was going to call a cab."

"Thanks, Billy," Sean said. "I appreciate you doing that. And I appreciate you coming," he said to David.

David gave him a big hug, catching Elijah up in it. "Take it easy, little brother, and heal. We'll see you Saturday night. Bring Billy with you. Dominic would be glad to meet him." To Billy he added, "Another brother. He loves the opportunity to meet with full humans and pick their brains."

"Well, I do like to talk about myself," Billy said with a broad smile. "Sounds perfect."

Elijah chuckled at his friend, pleased at how Billy seemed to find the cats as appealing as he did.

"You go back to bed and shift," David said to Sean. He gave them both another hug, gestured at the kitchen saying, "I'm leaving the mess for you to clean up."

"Like this is different from always, how?" Sean responded.

There were smiles all around, and more hugs, and a few minutes later Billy and David left, and Elijah locked the door behind them. Despite his nap, he was tired, too, so he knew Sean had to be exhausted. "I'll get this later. Let's go back to bed."

"Sounds like a great plan," Sean said, his arm back around Elijah. He was limping a little, and Elijah was glad to help support him back to the bedroom.

"Change back," Elijah said.

"Yeah, no." Sean lay back in bed, and brought Elijah with him.

"Your brother…"

Sean interrupted him with a kiss, a long, possessive kiss that had Elijah forgetting how to talk, and had him melting into Sean, his body vibrating with his need for him, for him to be naked, for them to be naked. Then Sean let out a pained grunt, and Elijah snapped out of his fugue, only to glance down and see he was grabbing Sean's arm right over the stitches.

"Jesus," he said, yanking his arm away. "Sean, I'm so sorry." He leaned down to kiss near the wound. "You make me forget everything."

"It's fine," Sean said, looking stubborn. "And I am not giving up. We are having sex even if it kills me."

Elijah snickered, but then he frowned. "Maybe we should wait a couple of days."

"Are you out of your mind?"

Elijah took a good look at Sean, and what he saw made his heart swell with affection and the need to make Sean feel better. In addition to the more serious wounds, Sean still had several smaller scratches in the process of healing. He had a bruise on his neck where Robert had gotten a hold of him momentarily, and several bruises on his stomach where Robert had kicked at him with his powerful hind legs.

He looked exhausted and at the end of his rope. Elijah realized it had been over a week since Sean had probably had a full day's, or even an average meal's worth of food, other than the hamburger, due to the vision quest. He'd been attacked several times, drugged twice, incarcerated, almost euthanized, and fought for his and Elijah's life against a man who'd been a life-long friend. This, Elijah thought, was the definition of a sucky week.

"Come here," he said softly, patting his chest, moving to sit against the headboard. "Lie against me." They did some moving around until Sean lay between Elijah's spread legs, Sean's back to Elijah's chest. Most of his weight was on his right side to protect his left. Elijah wrapped his arms around Sean. "You feel so good."

Sean relaxed into his arms, as if this had just what he'd been waiting for. Not sex, but them being together, as close as they could be. Now all Elijah had to do was get Sean to fall asleep.

He let his hand drop down to Sean's half-erect sex and stroked it gently. When Sean made an attempt to turn so he could touch Elijah, Elijah stopped him. "No, no, stay still. Let me take care of you. We have lots of time for you to return the favor."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely." Elijah already knew that Sean was a caretaker, and that it would always be a battle to get Sean to allow himself to be pampered, but Elijah was determined to do it as often as he could. He reached for the drawer at the bedside table, opening it, and pulling out some lotion, squirting some in his hand.

Then he went back to Sean's cock, stroking it with one hand, the other playing with his balls, trying to keep things at a low boil, instead of the conflagration of a few minutes ago.

Sean put his hands on Elijah's thighs, pushing them close so Sean was surrounded by him. He even put his ankle over Elijah's, as if Elijah might try to get away. "Not going anywhere," Elijah promised him. "Ever." He focused back on touching Sean.

Sean started making small hitches with his hips in time with Elijah's strokes and they were totally turning Elijah on. "You sure you don't want me-"

"Shhh," Elijah said, interrupting him. "This is what I want right now, to take care of you. Just focus on what feels good for you."

"Everything about you feels good for me," Sean gasped out, his hands grabbing at Elijah's knees, as he arched up into Elijah's strokes.

"Am I doing this right? Show me how you like it."

Sean covered Elijah's hand and showed him the perfect pace and together they brought Sean to his climax, Sean turning his head so they could kiss as he came, although it was less kissing, and more breathing into each others' mouths.

"God, that was just what I needed," Sean mumbled, already half-asleep.

Elijah grabbed the edge of the sheet and cleaned Sean off and then he kissed Sean's cheek. "Change to your cougar, Sean. Then go to sleep."

"But, you-"

"Tomorrow. Go ahead and change. You need to heal now."

Grumbling the whole time, Sean lay at Elijah's side, but he did change, and his golden eyes drifted shut, then opened, then drifted shut again, until they stayed shut.

Elijah sat there and watched him for a long, long time, feeling so very in love.

*****

"Hmm," Elijah said, half bliss, half complaint, "don't stop."

He'd woken up, Sean's oh-so-wonderful hands bringing him to a full erection. Then, for some inexplicable reason, he stopped.

Elijah opened his still crusty eyes to complain louder, but swallowed back the words as Sean straddled him to sink down onto Elijah, until Elijah was fully sheathed inside the most exquisite heat, like he was encased in hot velvet. He'd never…he'd never done this with anyone, and to feel himself inside Sean, to see Sean smiling down at him, undeniable love and desire blazing in his eyes, his irises a slim green halo around blown pupils, it was almost too much to bear. Almost being the operative word.

Sean grabbed Elijah's hand which was about to land on his thigh, and moved it to his hip. "I feel much better, but keep this hand here."

It took a second to compute, but then Elijah glanced at Sean's leg, saw that it really did look better, then glanced at his arm to note it looked even more healed. He carefully placed his hands on Sean's hips, his hands rising as Sean used his strong thighs to lift himself up and back down.

A long stuttering moan slipped out of Elijah's mouth, there being no words to describe how astonishing it felt. How right it felt to be here with this man, this perfect, wonderful man. Elijah lifted his knees to support Sean, and also to give himself more leverage to push up into Sean.

Mostly, though, all Elijah could do was stare up at Sean, knowing his love and adoration, and every other good thing he felt about Sean was all over his face, and Sean's face, his expression, his heart and soul and body were loving Elijah right back.

Sean grabbed a hold of Elijah's hips and said, "Hold on."

Elijah felt himself flying, and then Sean was flat on the bed, and Elijah was on top of him, between his legs, and oh, this was good, this was great. The other was great, too, but now he could move as he wanted, and be the one teasing Sean by pulling almost out and then thrusting back in, each time feeling such a connection, a completeness, where he was Elijah-Sean, or Sean-Elijah, or something equally as fanciful.

"Not fanciful," Sean said, which was when Elijah realized he'd been babbling all of that stuff out loud. "It's us loving each other, bonding with each other. We're made for each other, Elijah. You for me, and me for you."

And that's exactly what it was, Elijah exulted, as he watched Sean take his erection in hand and begin to stroke it in time to Elijah's thrusts. Next time he'd be coordinated enough to do that for Sean, but right now it was all he could do to keep up with his body's demands to take what was his.

"I am," Sean said. "I am yours." As if in proof, Sean came, creamy jets of fluid shooting over his hand and across his abdomen. The spasms of his orgasm squeezed Elijah so hard it took him over the edge, and he had another one of those orgasms that felt like it wasn't just his cock coming, but every cell in his body was in on the fun, thrumming with sensual pleasure.

He sagged down onto Sean, trusting himself to his mate's strong body, even as he made sure to stay off Sean's left side. "That was the most incredible thing ever," was all he could get out.

"I agree," Sean said, although he was laughing a little.

Elijah hitched himself up on one elbow. "Are you laughing at me? Don't you think it was the most incredible sex ever?"

"In the entire history of sex, it was the most incredible," Sean said, still laughing.

"You've done this with other people?" Elijah asked, not really wanting the answer, because he knew the answer was yes.

Sean flipped them over and used his arms and legs to imprison Elijah in the most loving of cages. "Not this. I've never done this. I've never had sex with someone I loved the way I love you. I've never had sex with someone with my body, my heart, and my soul, as if I could hear what you were thinking, as if we were one person. You are the only one I've ever felt this with. You. Only you."

As answers went, even one he didn't want to hear, that was pretty awesome. Elijah smiled up at him, wondering how the hell he'd ended up with this remarkable man as his mate. Him, Elijah Wood, weird, different, Elijah Wood. The person who everyone always walked away from. And yet, here he was, with someone Elijah couldn't have written better to more suit him. "And here I was, just waiting for you."

Sean kissed him for that. "Let's take a shower, eat, and then nap some more."

"I don't know," Elijah said, "that sounds pretty tiring. Are you always going to be demanding like this?"

This time, Sean bit his nose, just a little, growled at him, and got out of bed.

That almost got a rise out of Elijah, that growl, but little Elijah was down for the count, at least for a few minutes. He'd make Sean growl again after they ate.

*****

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, cats and kittens," Billy said with a dramatic flourish, "is the Tale of Cougar and Ocelot."

The crowd burst into applause, the air filled with cheering and wolf-calls. When Sean pulled Elijah into his arms and kissed him soundly, the audience surged up into an ovation, feet stamping adding to the cacophony.

Billy, who had always had a flair for telling an amusing tale, had narrated the entire story, cueing Elijah and Sean, and even Kathryn, Daniel, and David to tell their parts.

Elijah didn't think he'd ever blushed so much in his life, and his cheeks hurt from smiling. This world of Sean's, this community, was more than Elijah could have dreamed.

Their story had preceded them, and Elijah had never gone someplace new and felt as if he was not only family, but a family favorite. He'd been hugged and teased, both him and Billy, and best of all, everyone was delighted he was Sean's mate. No homophobia, no suspicious looks, nothing but pleasure at the thought.

Billy had looked gobsmacked at his reception, everyone equally gratified to meet him, and wanting to know his part of the story of how Sean and Elijah had come together. Once he'd been introduced to Dominic, the two of them had gone off together, talking a mile a minute.

Sean, on the other hand, hadn't left Elijah's side, fingers entwined, every conversation interspersed with small kisses and an occasional hug. Elijah's head and heart were swimming in affection, and he was so full of love he was sure it was sparking off his skin like fireworks.

The entire evening had a magical feel to it. There were several bonfires, where people were gathered to chat and tell stories. Food was plentiful as was drink, including alcohol, but no one was unpleasantly drunk. The air was full of laughter, the occasional yelling out of people's names being sought, an intermittent growl or chuff from the ones in cat form, and here or there a group breaking out in song. It was like a picture-perfect imagined campfire in Elijah's mind. The one he'd always wanted but never gotten.

He wasn't exactly sure where they were as it had been dark when they'd started heading this way. Sean had told him they were on reservation land, some agreement with the tribal elders to share their land with the cats. There were no buildings in the area, and Elijah assumed when it was bedtime the cats either left or shifted and dropped where they were.

At one point, someone started yelling for the Tale of Cougar and Ocelot, and the entire gathering had taken it up as a rallying cry, and so here they were, up in front of everyone, Sean kissing him, and the crowd going wild.

"You're famous now," Sean said to him, as he held him closely. "Famous of bard and song. You will never be forgotten."

"Neither will you," Elijah reminded him, deeply satisfied. "Or Billy."

"Another kiss!" someone yelled from the crowd, which got another roar of approval.

Elijah was happy to comply, and this time he pulled Sean into a deep kiss, arms thrown around his neck, more than willing to stake his claim in front of Sean's entire clan. When he pulled back, Sean said, "Wow," although it was almost lost in the din of clapping and cheering.

Despite the yells for an encore, they left the stage, Billy waved at Elijah, a madcap grin on his face, as he walked off with Dominic. Sean took Elijah's hand and moved away from the crowd until they found a mostly abandoned bonfire and settled down on the ground.

"It's so wonderful here," Elijah said. "I don't want to go back. At all. Even to pack up and sell my house."

"It is wonderful here, but it's important to be comfortable in both worlds," Sean told him.

There was a wisdom there that Elijah accepted. This place should be where you gain succor to then go out and deal with the craziness of the fully human world. "But you'll be with me?"

"As if I'd let you out of my sight."

"President-elect?" a voice called. "May we speak?"

Sean rose to his feet. "Of course."

"President-elect?" Elijah asked, as he stood. "Something you forgot to tell me, Sean?"

Sean shot him a chagrined look. "It's not like it sounds." He squeezed Elijah's hand and added, "I'll explain later."

A man and woman approached, looking a tad apprehensive. "President-elect?"

"Oh, my God," Sean said, and he went to them and hugged them. "What's with the title? I've always been Sean to you, and let's keep it like that."

They held him tightly, the woman crying a little, and Elijah watched, mystified. The mystery was revealed when the man spoke.

"We've come to offer our apologies on behalf of ourselves and Robert. He is still confused, but is starting to find himself. He will tender his own, of course, once he is better."

Sean heard the man out, but then shook his head. "And I'll be glad to hear it, but if you feel the need to apologize, so do I. I saw him several times before I left on my vision quest and knew he wasn't right, yet did nothing. I own as much of the fault as you. We will do better by him this time."

There was another hug, but this time a little less diffident on Robert's parents' part. Now Elijah could see the love and fellowship in the hug. Then Sean introduced them. "This is Abigail and Levon, Robert's parents. Abigail and Levon," he added proudly, "this is Elijah, my mate."

Elijah wasn't exactly sure how to proceed. Abigail and Levon took it out of his hands by pulling him into a hug that was so enthusiastic and genuine that Elijah couldn't help but hug them back. When they stepped back, Abigail took his hands. Elijah was expecting an apology as well, but he was surprised when, instead, he was thanked.

"Thank you, Elijah," she said fervently. "Thank you so much. Because of you, we can all come out of this healed. Because of you, Sean is still alive, and Robert will not need to live with his death on his soul. Because of you, my son is still alive and we do not need to grieve him. How can we ever thank you?"

Elijah blinked at her, letting her words sink in. He was a writer, and he knew how powerful words could be, but he'd never been in a situation where, as the words were being spoken, he was being changed. Her gratitude put everything into a different light. He found himself standing a little taller, his smile to her and her mate unforced. "You're welcome," was all he said at first. Then, honestly, "At the time, those weren't exactly my motives, though."

She smiled at him. "I know, but because you have a good heart, good came from your actions. We're so blessed to have you with us, and I know Robert will be equally grateful."

Elijah grimaced. "I stabbed him with a pair of scissors."

That got an unexpected giggle from Abigail. "I know, we heard the story. But it was just his tail, and that scar will be one he will cherish because it tells a frightful tale that, miraculously, has a happy ending. And he will use it to teach the young ones."

"Man, I love you guys," Elijah said, hoping he'd be able to one day look at everything that way, and learn to leave his cynicism behind him. "All of you." He looked at Sean, wrapping his arm around his waist. His throat felt tight all of a sudden, and he was afraid if he said another word he'd start crying. He turned fully to Sean, resting his head against his chest. He could tell Sean was speaking, could hear the vibrations of his talking, but Elijah didn't listen, just relaxed into the feel of Sean, his arms strong around him.

When it was quiet again, Sean pulled them back to the ground, holding Elijah half in his lap. "You okay?"

Elijah nodded, but still didn't trust himself to speak.

"Too much good stuff?" Sean asked.

Elijah nodded again.

"I get that."

There was the sound of feet approaching, but Sean must have put them off and they scampered off. Sean just held him, rubbing his back, kissing his temple, asking nothing of him but to sit there.

That almost made Elijah cry, but he swallowed it back, and just let the overwhelming emotions, all of them positive and joyful and humbling, settle into his bones until he could breathe again. Then, a thought occurred. "President-elect?"

Sean cleared his throat sounding a little embarrassed.

"What, exactly, does it mean, if it doesn't mean what it sounds like, that you're next in line to be the president of this clan?"

"Well, okay, I guess it does mean that, but it's not like being the president of the United States."

Elijah got off Sean's lap, sitting across from him, knees touching, and frowned at him.

Sean hurried on. "The clans are run by a…well, the best example I can think of is like a board. And there's a chairman of the board, and that's what I'll be in two years. Right now I hold the position of president-elect, so I can learn, and people can see if they think I can do the job."

"So they can change their mind?" Elijah asked.

"Yeah. They can decide if I have more to learn before I can lead."

"Do you think that will happen?"

Sean rolled his eyes. "How am I supposed to answer that without sounding like my ego is talking?"

"I take it that means no." Elijah knew that. He could see how much the cats here respected Sean, how relieved they were to have him back. "Who was it before Daniel?"

"Kathryn," Sean said. "That's how they met. She was president when he became president-elect."

"What does that mean for me?" Elijah asked, a little nervous. "I mean, are there expectations for me, for the president-elect's mate?"

"Public blow jobs," Sean said with a perfectly straight face.

For a second, jaw agape, Elijah bought it, but then he saw the humor in Sean's eyes and he mocked strangled Sean. "Idiot. I'm serious."

"No expectations, Elijah. It's not like what you see on TV. No pomp and circumstances. You've seen how Daniel is treated, like one of the gang."

"He came to rescue you," Elijah pointed out. "Him and Kathryn."

"For one, they were already nearby, and for two, who better than the president to take care of his cats?"

Who better indeed? thought Elijah. "And there couldn't be anyone better than you for the job." Sean would be wonderful at leading this clan. He was wonderful at everything.

"Now that I have you," Sean said.

They beamed at each other.

From out of the darkness came David's voice. "All right, you two, I've been keeping people away so you could have your heart-to-heart, but your adoring public wants access to you now."

Elijah giggled at that. Adoring public. Sheesh.

"Thanks, David," Sean called, sneaking his hundredth kiss of the night.

As if that had been the watch word, several cats joined them at the bonfire, including a little girl who crawled right on Elijah's lap. "Are you really Ocelot?" she asked shyly.

"I am," he said. "Who are you?"

"I'm Molly."

"Molly, it's nice to meet you."

He felt Sean's arm go around his back, felt his stalwart strength. Elijah blew out a breath, warmed by the fire, by Sean, by his new young friend, by his new community, and sent a silent prayer of gratitude into the flames as they reached into the night.

The End


End file.
